Daniel Howell Imagines

Can You Keep A Secret?

A/N: based off of true events famalam

Pairing: Dan x Reader

Genre: Angst

Word Count: 552 words

Warnings: swearing and mentions cheating i guess

Your P.O.V

  Dan. The beautiful boy with the brown eyes. God, I knew from the moment I met him that he would be the death of me. He was something from out of a movie. To me, he was absolutely perfect. The articulated words that spilled from his mouth every time he spoke was music to my ears.

It's just that, he didn't initially feel the same way. I was just someone to help pass time. I made a home out of him while he was just passing through on his journey. Our stars didn't seem to align and he broke my heart. But, I couldn't say anything, because it was a secret. Dan and I were in a secret relationship, but I did it to make him happy, I wanted him to be happy more than anything, even if that means putting his happiness before my own.

A secret relationship should've been the first red flag. I understand that we couldn't tell the whole world about it, but the fact was, I wasn't allowed to tell my friends and family. I wasn't allowed to tell anyone. He had his own selfish reasons for wanting a secret relationship, and I feel so stupid for not realizing any sooner.

Relationships are supposed to be something fun, something to share with the person you love right? Relationships are supposed to be full of love, devotion, passion and trust.

What I did not account for was a "relationship" filled with lies, secrecy and adultery. A relationship founded on lies and secrets.

I was fully committed, but he never was. I guess I should've thought everything through before I agreed to something so evil and cynical. But I thought that, that was how love worked, for some odd reason.

I guess it was just the way he would talk to me, making me feel like I was the only one, the one that he wanted. I thought he cared about me, I thought that he loved me. Because that's how he made me feel. He made me feel loved and cared about. I had never felt that way in my life before.

So, when someone walks into your life, and shows you the stars, and the new ways of life, and they show you a new side of yourself that you've never seen, or you never even knew existed, and they show you what it's like to have some fun and have a good time, to let loose for a little while, always sleep with one eye open at night. Never fully believe a word that they say, be wary of what they do and say.

Because when you agree to a cynical thing, it feels like you can only blame yourself for the way that things turn out .

"Did I do something wrong?"
"Whats wrong with me?"
"Am I not good enough?"
"Was it something I said or did?"

Those are the kind of thought I am talking about. They will bug you at night, they will inhabit your mind. I guess I was just blind by the thought that true love can exist and I was dancing with the illusion that, that's what true love looked like.

I guess that's the reason I'm so fucked up now.