Daniel Howell Imagines

Fetch

A/N: so i tried out a thing where a friend of mine wrote fanfiction for me and this is what she wrote (also try and spot the bit that I wrote(also also, lemme know if you want her back, and see if you can spot which ones are hers)) if you wanna know who she is, her wattpad name is the_redVile and she's great and amazing

Genre: Angst

Word Count: 1325 words

Warnings: tones of anxiety

Pairing: Dan x reader

Prompt: "Well this is awkward considering the last time we saw each other I was screaming at you to never talk to me again, but like, my dog recognized you from across the park and literally dragged me over here because she misses you"

Footnotes: flashbacks are in italics

Your P.O.V

I let out a sigh and watched as my breath danced in the crisp morning air. It was well into Autumn now and though getting up out of the warmth of my blankets was harder the more the chill seeped in through my bedroom window with the broken latch, it was no excuse to not take Poppy out for a walk. As I watched my giant fluff ball bounce and bound around I couldn't help my mind to think back to a few months ago.
I can't even remember the exact time it had been, everything was blurred out and strewn together it felt like he had left an eternity ago and also just yesterday. I was so cold, and everything was broken in my life without him, not even the window latch would close now. It always was sticky but it's as if it can't function without him.

"Same" I breathed out to myself letting my thoughts drift between strange thoughts, to making sure my overgrown mop was being gentle, back to him.

That night I hadn't exactly been gentle with his emotions. Things got heated to put it nicely. God how could I have been so selfish. I didn't know what I had but I was so quick to throw it all away for a maybe.

"Poppy!" I warned seeing her playing a little rough with a smaller dog but not wanting to get up from my blanket under a tree. My cute little Great Pyrenees was such a good girl even if she played a little rough sometimes, she just didn't fully recognize her own strength.

She was just a wee baby when we met. I was just taking her for a walk to the park when I was stopped. Not even he knows the full extent of why he stopped me, maybe he was worried that Poppy might run off and my tiny frame wouldn't be able to stop her. Maybe he just really wanted wanted to pet her. Either way that moment when he looked back up and met my eyes will change me forever.
"I think she likes you." I smiled at Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome,
"You really think so?" He asked in return with such childlike conviction it was hard not to giggle, and Poppy licking his face in response made the whole thing better.
"I really like your dog too, it's almost a shame. In a city so large I might never see her again."
I saw the opportunity and I took it, telling the handsome stranger that all we needed was a phone call and he could see Poppy at anytime, while writing down my phone number on the back of a receipt I had found in my bag.

How things change. That's why I'm sitting alone now and not next to him. Not that I can complain anyway this is what I wanted. I asked for this. I kicked and screamed and threw in my toys and this is the result.

As I think about that night I wince. This happened so long ago but the pain. The pain was unbearable, every morning waking up with this pit in your stomach, like the seeds of a dying flower, knowing with care it can be replanted and grow again, knowing with care and time I can love again, but still having to feel it die. Slowly. Agonizingly. Every night waiting until 3 am to see if the sick taste in my mouth will subside and let me rest or rear its ugly head.

Dan moved in with me and Poppy in the shack we called home and things were great. Almost too great. It feel like I'm floating on cloud-9 when I'm with him, that something had to happen. When you feel so high for so long when you inevitably fall and crash it burns like a newfound hell fire. When was this going to happen. Who would snap first? If I stay with him am I just going to end up hurt? Or worse. Am I going to hurt him? I can't let that happen. If he were to stay with me he would just get hurt, and it would be all of my fault.

"Babe." He said, interrupting my thoughts.

"Hmm?"

"You've got that paranoid look in your eye, like your overthinking and panicking. What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm just thinking." I say brushing it off and he leaves me to go back to my thoughts.

As I come out of my thoughts I look at all the small dogs playing and bouncing. Small dogs. Small. Where's Poppy?! She's a big dog she can't just be hiding. Did she run off somewhere? Did someone take her? She's such a good dog she wouldn't just run off like this.
"Poppy!" I start calling to her, trying not to panic, getting no answer and no dog. I try again. "POPPY!!" I start calling louder my hands beginning to shake. I start running around and searching frantically. I can't loose her, I can't loose my baby.

You know I kind of miss being single, relationships always have some sort of difficulties, and I get that, but sometimes its just easier to leave before you get left, save yourself the heartache of watching the person you love walk out the door, Dan's probably way better off without me anyways, this relationship just seems to be moving too fast, I need space, I can't be in a relationship. I don't want to wait to hurt him, because in the long run, it would only hurt him even more.

"I need space..." I blurted out loud, it wasn't my intention to say it out loud, but there was nothing I could do about it

"I'm sorry, what?" Dan inquired, obviously confused as to why I would say 'I need space'. I took a deep breath, and looked into his deep brown eyes, mentally preparing to say what I was going to say next, and I'm not gonna lie, I could feel my heart break just even thinking about the words I was about to say next.

"I can't do this anymore, Dan. I need space, this relationship just isn't working out, everything just happening so fast, and I just can't deal with it anymore." and there it was, the room was so quiet you could almost hear a pin drop, and the look in Dan's eyes, well I had never ever seen them so sad. Tears welled up in his eyes, and what looked like a horrified expression on his face, I can't believe that I have to be the one to hurt him like this.

"You- You don't really mean it, You can't be serious?" Dan broke the silence, his voice cracking with every other word, tears started streaming down his face, his utterly heartbroken face

"I'm sorry Dan, that's just how it is, I just can't do this anymore." I whispered, it almost felt as if the weight of the world was on my shoulders, but all that it was, was the guilt that I felt for breaking the person that I love, and shattering his heart into pieces.

"Okay then, that's fine, I'll get someone to come over tomorrow to pick up my stuff. But I just want you to know, that I love you, and I don't think I can stop." He said in a low, heart shattering whisper, as he places the key that I gave him into the palm of my hand, and walked out of the door...

Fully engulfed by another panic attack I give up, returning to my blanket crying and shivering in despair. This is it. I've lost everything. My dog, the best boyfriend I've ever had, my job. I'll probably loose my home soon too.

"Wait what?" I heard a voice from above me as a warm, breathing blanket made its way behind me with a huff. I looked up.

"Dan?"