CECE, DISRESPECTFULLY | ✓

50: BAD INFLUENCE

            On Friday afternoon, we cram in front of one of two currently functional Isaac Evans library computers with the application page to Stellatus open. I've filled in every section and attached the required documents. Now, the cursor hovers above the submit button.

One click. Just one click away.

If I don't get in, I don't get in. And that's fine—no one but Diwa would even know. Besides, going to Stellatus would mean having to start all over again and I'm not sure I want that, I'm not sure I want... I mean... Nevermind.

Blood gushing in my ears, I click and the application whooshes into the web. Instantly, ice cleaves my chest hollow.

But warmth follows it. As though I've eaten summat fresh off the hob, it suffuses from my stomach to my neck and palms which turn clammy. Diwa leans into my side, shaking my arm in her excitement and a grin splits my face. I pointlessly hide it in my hoodie, tugging the collar over my nose.

The thing tries to turn in my chest, like a moth pressed to my spine, too large to spread its wings in the confines of my ribcage. It tickles laughter into my throat like acid reflux.

I swallow it. 'Well. Your turn.'

'My turn for what?' Diwa asks with overkilled obliviousness. She avoids my stare until she eventually has to relent. 'I'm not gonna ask her out right now.'

'Why not?' I crane my neck to find Annabella showing Jeremy and Ju summat on her phone on the other side of library shelves. 'She's over there.'

'Well, what do I say?'

My stare flicks back to Diwa, eyebrows lifting. 'Uhhhhh... I'm aromantic and hate human interaction so maybe don't ask me for advice.'

'You're my only friend,' she hisses.

'Soz, mate, not my fucking problem.'

Cussing me out, Diwa gets to her feet and stomps away. I stare at the application confirmation still on the computer screen for a moment before I log out and turn it off.

I've just packed my things when Diwa reappears. Her face is blank, none of her barbs in sight. 'Her loss,' I say in an attempt at comfort as I zip up my backpack.

'No, she... accepted. We agreed for next week Sunday.'

Summat slithers between my lungs—cold, but not pure ice. Slimy.

'We should celebrate! Do summat fun.' I bounce to my feet, probably overcompensating but I've gotta stick to the bit now. 'I know just the thing.'

My excitement is clearly not infectious because Diwa don't as much as smile. 'We've still got another lesson.'

'Oh, who cares? You can skive off one class. Nowt's gonna happen.'

'To me, maybe. But have you forgotten Cobham's whole "this your final warning" thing?'

A scoff hisses along the roof of my mouth. 'He weren't serious.'

'I reckon he was... He thinks you started a fire in the school.'

'A fire that did nothing a month ago,' I counter. 'I've been a good nerd, I can skip one biology lesson without the world collapsing. C'mon, you'll like it. Trust me.'

'Why would I trust you? You've never inspired as much as a crumb of trust in another human being.'

'Well... Then I'm abducting you.'

Without preamble, I grab her hand and pull Diwa along so quickly that she barely has the chance to snatch her coat and bag from the back of her chair.

We're out of the library and well down the corridor before I stop. 'Are you still grounded?'