Unbearable

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

(Vanessa's POV)

I woke up in the cold sweats again. It was scarier this time than ever before since Kenny wasn't here beside me. Damn conference meeting has him out in DC. The rain storm going on outside was terrible. I'm surprised KJ and Chrissy were sleeping through it. I reached for my phone on my bed stand and called my husband. 2:45 in the morning on the dot. "Wassup babe," he said in that raspy night voice of his. "Baby," I whispered. I don't know why I was whispering. Chrissy and KJ were all the way down the hall sleep. "Nessa it's almost three o'clock baby, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong baby. I just...I can't sleep." He groaned. I could just imagine him turning on the lights or sitting up in bed with that, "This is gonna take a while" expression on his face. "What's going on? Those dreams again?"

"Yeah." I heard him yawn overdramatically. I snickered a little. It was like watching a lion yawn if you saw it in person. I missed him. I wished he was right here next to me. There were many nights I wanted him next to me and he couldn't be. That's the life of a baller's wife I guess. "You know what my mom use to tell me when I had those?"

"What's that?" I asked.

"Talk about it." I sucked my teeth. He knew I never spoke of my bad dreams. "Why you gotta do all that for?"

"It's true. You've been having those dreams since you were 18 babe. You gotta talk about it sooner or later. It doesn't have to be with me, but talk to someone." Normally this was my cue to say something smart, but he had a point. These dreams had to stop. I swear one day I'll dream something I can't wake up from. "You're right Kenny. I'll talk to someone about it." There was silence over the phones. I could only imagine he was dozing off. "Kenneth?"

"I'm up Nessa."

"What's wrong?" I whimpered. I got out of my bed to crack open the windows. The idea of fresh mist seemed soothing. "I just don't understand how you can't share you-did you just open the window?" he asked.

"Yeah?"

"Are my shoes right there under the window?"

"No. I put them in your closet like I told you to do days ago. So you better not whine if I put your little shoe collection out of order."

"Little shoe collection? Ya know what-anyway. My point is, I don't understand what's the harm in sharing your dreams with me. I'm your husband. We became one when I put that ring on you."

"Kenny we are one, but even you wouldn't be able to heal this." There was silence again. "Baby, you wouldn't understand. It's too late to talk about this." I rolled over in my bed in my normal sleeping position as I held the phone to my ear. "Hey Kenny?"

"Yes Nessa..."

"Remember when we were just dating and... you use to call me and we'd talk on the phone for hours?" He chuckled. That put a smile on my face. "Yeah, I remember. We use to talk about everything. Our dreams, fears, stories, our pasts and futures. Man, you had a way with words."

"Had? I still do." We laughed and I felt myself zoning out. "Kenny. I'm falling asleep again," I whispered.

"Alright babe, go to sleep."

"Okay. Bye Kenny, I love you."

"Bye? Stay on the phone. Sleep with me Nessa." I giggled a little. "Sure, I'll sleep with you." I laid the phone on my ear and placed my hands in my normal position when Kenny was gone. One underneath the pillow and the other in between my knees. "Nessa?" Kenneth called in that raspy voice.

"Huh?" I answered keeping my eyes closed.

"I love you." With my eyes still closed, I smiled. It's like every time I heard those words from Kenneth, Chrissy, or KJ my world got a little brighter. "I love you too Kenny," I groaned, "Now go to sleep."