Letters

Afraid

Willow brushed her hair out of her face as she tried not to fall asleep on the job. Blinking rapidly she sighed and continued typing away at her type writer. She had to get her report back up to Wallace so he could fit them to the newspaper.

Willow was a journalist and while it wasn't necessarily easy work, she loved her job and she had worked hard to get the position she had. Women were looked down upon, she knew that. And lots of men, many teachers, had laughed at her when she pursed a college degree in journalism. They told her she would never get hired. Willow just smiled and let them talk. She was a hard worker and journalism was something she was interested in.

Bucky and Steve had always supported her decision. She was the only one out of the three of them who really knew what they wanted to do in life. Steve had debated becoming a teacher but he didn't exactly command authority and students might see him as a pushover. And Bucky had considered a sports career but ultimately turned down every offer he received opting out for a job at at a local mechanic shop in town.

They liked him because he drew everyone in. He was charming with the ladies and respectful towards the men and Bucky was good at what he did. Meanwhile Steve bounced from one job to the next. He was always leaving for one thing or another and never really stayed anywhere long.

Willow pursed her lips as she remembered the time after the death of Steve's mother. Bucky had offered to find him a job, but Steve had said he didn't want his help. It was Willow who had encouraged him to consider getting Bucky's help, it was how he got his job at one of the shops downtown. Part of it was Bucky charming the lady who owned it into hiring him and the other part was Steve's no quit attitude.

As she pulled the paper from the typewriter, she tried to wipe away any thoughts of Steve. It made her anxious just thinking about him. If he made it past training and got sent overseas, Willow could see Steve putting himself on the line if it meant saving someone else. Steve was the type of guy to jump on a grenade for his team, even if they didn't like him, even if it meant he would never get to see her or Bucky again. He'd jump onto that grenade because it was the right thing to do. Steve was selfless. That's what scared Willow the most.

Putting the report inside a Manila folder, she tucked her hair behind her ear again, stood up from her desk and made her way past the other desks and too Wallace's office. As she walked, the men in the room turned to look at her, she was a sight to see after all. Long dark hair, blue and white dress that complimented her blue eyes. To some she was just another pretty face but the confidence in her walk suggested otherwise.

This was a girl on a mission. This was a girl who wanted to not just be seen but to be heard too.

Willow knocked on the office door and when a gruff voice said, "Enter." She did. Stepping into the room, Willow picked up the smell of cigars immediately, something that reminded her of her father and her childhood. She smiled.

"I have those reports all done up for you." Wallace peered over his wire rimmed glasses at her and beckoned her forward. Willow walked towards him, holding out the folder. He took it from her and opened it, scanning the pages quickly. Wallace had to admit, she was a good journalist and could make even the most boring stories interesting. But besides that, she was a better speller than most of the men he had hired.

"Thank you Willow, you may return to your desk." Wallace said roughly, removing the cigar from his mouth. Willow nodded and headed back out, closing the door behind her.

Her work was finished around six o'clock so Willow began to gather her things and head home. She was looking forward checking her mail to see if anything had arrived from Steve and she also wanted to take a nice long bath.

Willow made her way up the stairs to the apartment and pulled the key from its chain out from underneath her dress. She put the key in the lock and turned it as she skimmed through the mail she had grabbed from the box. Her heart fluttered when she noticed Steve's scrawled handwriting.

It was postmarked for just the day before. This was the quickest a letter had arrived. She frowned, wondering what that meant but thought nothing of it as she tore it open. This letter was longer and Willow wanted to savor every word.

----

No. No. He couldn't go through with it. If he was afraid the drugs would kill him he shouldn't do it! Willow was having a hard time trying to comprehend what she wa reading. Experimental procedure? Why did they have to test it out on Steve? Why did he have to agree.

Dr. Abraham. He had said that he was the man who allowed Steve to join the army. He must have known beforehand that he wanted Steve to join the army for this purpose. For this exact purpose so they could test some drugs out on him and it wouldn't matter. Willow had to do something. She had to stop this.

February 3rd, 1943

Dear Steve,

How could you be so reckless? How could you do this Steve? I love you but you're such an idiot sometimes. What if the drugs don't work and something goes wrong? Will I receive a notice of death to this letter instead of your reply? I can't believe you'd risk yourself like that when I need you. You need to come home. This needs to work. You can't die.

It's late and I know this letter won't reach you in time so I'm going to continue this letter like you didn't just write to tell me that you might die.

I do not think it's unusual for you to read my letter multiple times because I do the same Steve.

How can I not tell him? Bucky is your best friend and mine. He'll want to know and you can't particularly stop me from telling him what you're doing but I will respect that you don't want him to know. I am not the one in the army and if anyone should tell him, it should be you.

You always speak so highly of Bucky and I. I'm doubtful that the stars of Hollywood would see Bucky and I as one of them. I do not nearly compare to their fancy dress. But California sounds so beautiful and I really wish to go there with you, with Bucky.

I wish I could meet this Agent Carter. She sounds like a lovely women and I'm glad she has taught you to fight. I hope you don't feel inferior learning moves women might usually use but since I know you, I know that you do not. I guess we'll never know if I would be in the front lines during a war, but I am first in line to write up the stories about the men who are.

Work at the newspaper company has been good. Wallace keeps us men and women busy as there are nearly an equal amount of men and women in the office now. It's refreshing to see new faces. I just wish the men would offer us a little more respect.

Steve, I miss you.
I need you.
Come back to me.

Love,
Willow Peterson