Letters

Before I Go

January 16th, 1944

Dear Willow,
I don't think they're so much of what if's as they are what should have been's. I should be there with you. I should have spent the holidays with you. I should be there trying to protect you. From what, I don't really know. Besides that, you've been able to take care of yourself for years without my help or any brute strength. I just miss you. I miss seeing you everyday and hearing your voice..

Bucky tries mimicking you to cheer me up and is it wrong to say that he's actually sort of gotten your voice down? Maybe it's just your mannerisms though like how when you're excited, you talk with your hands and how, whenever you laughed, you would touch my arm or Bucky's like you were trying to steady yourself. It's the little things I miss.

I promise to come back and you know I always keep my promises and maybe I'l bring Bucky with me...

He just caught me writing that, told me to scratch it out or something but he doesn't listen to me about his letters so why should I do the same? He says me being sarcastic is very un-characteristic of me. I feel as if I've always been a little sarcastic. Maybe the serum enhanced that.

I also did not think our meeting at the boat would be on our last one for a rather long time. Things are always changing you know though. Nothing is ever set in stone but I wish that was. I wish we could have had a longer goodbye. I would feel more at peace now if we had.

I'm glad you had a good holiday. You girls should get out more often. It's all work and no play for you and that's not how you should be living your lives. Go out to dinner, go to the movies.. We're apparently still going to be in them. Short Propo's for the public except with real time action. No death's though. Everyone will survive or won't be shown if they hadn't. Not sure if I should be telling you that though.

I know you love your job and I hope to one day see you heading the company I'm just asking you to take a little time off. Not much. Maybe a short week or so. Or a few days here and there. I don't want you to overwork yourself.

I hope you one day get to meet them as well. They have a great sense of humor and quite interesting lives as they all come from different backgrounds and countries.The HYDRA base was indeed destroyed and I've sent you the full disclosed story as Colonel Phillips wants it published. To be quite honest, he's giving it a lot more flare than need be. He's a rather good story teller.

In other news, another HYDRA base in Belgium is on our list. We will be heading over there soon and go about our usual business with it all.

I'm sorry I was not there to ring in the new year with you. I wish I had been. Happy New Year Willow.

My love,
is as deep as the ocean.
Something I want to give you all of
as a sign of my devotion.
You're the swing in my step,
the heart in my song
and soon I shall be at your doorstep.
It isn't long
now.

They didn't go as smoothly as I hoped but we have to mail these right now before we leave. I love you forever Willow, and as always, I miss you.

Love,
Steven Rogers

----

January 16th, 1944

My One True Love Willow,

Steve saw me write that. He's a big grump. Told me to stop messing around and finish the letter. If Steve hadn't sat there so long thinking though I would have written my letter sooner. I certainly would have written it a lot faster than him. But then again, what's letters among friends. I have no doubt in my mind that you two transcribe love letters back and forth. So why can't I make one too?

Is Steve all mushy in his letters? He doesn't seem like much of a mushy guy. Well, he's a romantic but not a mushy romantic. Right? Wrong? Women are more perceptive of these kinds of things than men.

I will certainly tell Steve to stop bullying me with your blessing. He is getting a bit out of hand.

It's alright that you guys never mentioned it. I feel like it's something more of to say in person anyways. I just never thought I'd actually hear Steve say it in person on the battlefield. How is it that things work out like this? You two confess your love for each other finally, only for Steve to be shipped off to war. It doesn't seem far. But nothing is ever really fair is it?

I guess I could have told you that he loved you but theres a certain code men can't break. Even though we're all friends here, Steve had to admit his feelings to you. I couldn't do it because it wasn't my place. I'm just glad he finally got it off his chest. If he held it in much longer, the weight of it would have crushed him and he breaks easily as you know.

Soon you will get to watch us argue, bicker and tease each other well into the night. You've always been a great mediator and without you, we are sorely lacking. I don't hold back on Steve. Steve rolls his eyes and says some witty remark back.. He's getting good at those. I wouldn't exactly say that war is changing him. Maybe it's the serum. He was always a good man Willow but now he's a great one.

Hey, if Wallace doesn't go belly up soon, make him go belly up..

Naw! I'm kidding. He's a great man, a scary one. But you running the company I can see happening easily. The man already considers you family, why not hand you the business? I bet you you're already in his will. I wouldn't doubt it.

To be honest.. I don't remember very much of what happened to me. Just.. The pain. It sort of felt like my veins were full of fire.. I shivered remembering it. I don't know what they were trying to do exactly. Steve said they were trying to perfect the serum he had been given. He's worried about me too. I can tell. But nothing serious has happened to me and there seem to have been no lasting effects of whatever they pumped into me.

I try not to think about it too hard.

My poems will always be better than Steve's. Here's another one for you.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I like bread,
beef stew and you!

I really wish I had beef stew now.. Well it's time to go. Places to go, Nazi's to kill.. I'm glad you see me as your big brother Willow because you'll always be my baby sister. I love you and miss you of course. See you soon!

Love,
James Barnes