Letters

Overseas

"Where?" Willow asked, her heart pounding in her chest. They were just about to sit down to dinner in the apartment when Steve broke the news to her. He was going overseas but not as a soldier, he was going as Captain America along with the girls. They were going to try to boost the morale of the troops.

When Steve had gotten the news, he thought he was finally getting his chance to prove himself but that's not what they wanted from him. He hated the idea of going out there and performing the same song and dance for the troops because that's where he was supposed to be, out on the front line not on a stage.

"Just overseas Willow I'm not joining the army. We're brining the act to the troops." Steve said dejectedly. Now Willow was just surprised.

"You're going to talk to the troops about bail bonds?" Steve laughed and shook his head.

"No, the girls are going to dance a little then I'll come out with a different script about.. Something. I don't know.." Willow pulled her chair in a little closer and stared at Steve pointedly. She knew this wasn't what he wanted to do and it was probably going to be humiliating for him to go up there and talk to the troops when he wanted to be one of them.

"Where will you be going exactly?" I asked. Steve shrugged a little.

"Wherever the troops are. We'll do a couple acts overseas spread out over a couple of months and then I'll come back here at the end of the year for another leg of the Captain America across America tour and.."

"Yes?" Willow asked eating her salad slowly.

"I don't think that they're ever going to let me fight Willow." Steve looked up at her to gauge her reaction. She looked sympathetic and maybe just a tiny bit gladdened by this news. "I can do this now. I know I can. I'm supposed to have the strength of twenty men." Steve laughed a little shaking his head.

"You do. You didn't lift that motorcycle two weeks back just by believing that you could." Steve smiled widely at Willow's reply.

"I know, I know. I'm strong, I'm smart. I can handle a gun. I went through the training for all of this and.. Nothing. I don't have anything to show for it. I haven't made Dr. Abraham proud. I've wasted the gift he's given me." Willow took Steve's hand.

"You're not wasting it Steve. Don't think like that." Steve squeezed her hand and sighed.

"It feels like I'm wasting it. What do I have to show for the war effort? And please, please don't talk about how I'm an onscreen hero for the kids or about the bonds I've sold to give the men bullets for their guns because.. It doesn't feel like I've done anything." Willow thought carefully.

"Steve.." He looked up at her, his expression a mixture of pain and sadness. "Do you really want to go overseas to kill people?" Steve swallowed hard. "War changes people. I know it's what you want to do and it's what Bucky wanted to but.. I wish the war didn't exist because you're both going to go over there and you won't come back as the person toy were before. You're not going to be the same."

"I know Willow, I know but I was made for something better than being just the face of this war." Steve paused. "I don't want to kill people. I don't want to hurt anyone but I will if it meant saving innocent lives."

"And that's what I love about you." Willow murmured. "You never back down." Steve smiled and they let go of each other's hands. There was a bit of silence as they are in front of each other quietly. "When do you leave?" Willow asked lightly.

"I ship out in three weeks." Willow sighed.

"These past two weeks have been..." She was at a loss for words.

"Amazing?" Steve finished for her. The two had been almost inseparable. Steve, having nowhere else to go, slept on the couch in the small living room of the apartment. He always made her breakfast in the morning and packed her a lunch if they weren't meeting up and when Willow would come home from work, they would make dinner together. Steve had told Willow that he spent most of his free time listening to the radio, cleaning, walking around or working out. What he hadn't told her was that he was digging into the murders happening around Boston a bit. He had told her to stay away from it all but that didn't apply to him.

"Wonderful too, yes." Willow blushed a little. Sometimes she forgot that this was Steve she was in love with, her best friend. Sometimes she forgot they knew everything about each other. It was so comfortable being around him and she loved the thought of being able to lean across the table to kiss him.

"I'll miss you when I'm gone."

"I'll miss you too Steve." Willow whispered before leaning across the small table and kissing him, just like she imagined. Steve loved the kisses she instigated because it made everything more real.

----

At the second week of June in 1942, Willow said goodbye to Steve and watched as he got on a boat to go to Europe. Steve waved from the bow and he swore he felt his heart begin to break watching Willow cry. He had only seen her cry maybe five times before the start of this war and now it felt like she was always crying, over him, Bucky. While he hated the thought of it, knowing that she cared warmed his heart.

Turning around, Steve sighed. Steve had only been on a boat a few times before this one and now he was going to be living on one for a week or two, depending on the weather and if they could clear all the security checkpoints between America and Europe. As the boat pulled out of the harbor all Steve could think abut was what he would say to Bucky if he happened to see him on his tour.