Letters

Her Boys

Willow had asked for a leave of absence from work. The news of Bucky's death, had rocked Willow to her core. She couldn't handle the news of it. Bucky? Dead? How? What happened? Steve's letter had been unclear. The 107th had been mostly captured or killed by Hydra soldiers and Bucky could have been among the dead but Steve still risked his life for those men. He didn't even know them and he risked his life.

Had he saved them? Had he gotten himself killed? Was a letter of his death imminent? Willow couldn't bear the thought of it. If Steve was dead, all hope was lost. The was no one left in this world that she cared for, nobody at all.

"Willow!" Someone called out beyond the door. There was a light knock on the wood. Wrapping herself up in she shawl, Willow sat up on the couch and looked towards the door to the apartment. Had word spread at work of Bucky's death? It must have. Why else would someone pay a visit? Standing, Willow went to investigate. Checking through the peephole, Willow flush Anne, her fellow coworker just two feet in front of her. Willow opened the door.

"Hello Anne." Anne smiled, her brown curls swaying as she stepped forward. She was holding a glass pan in her hands. Ah, yes. Comfort food.

"I'm sorry to barge in on you like this but when you weren't at work today, some of the girls and I became worried. Mary asked Wallace and he informed us that.. Well.." She stopped. "I am terribly sorry about James, Willow." Willow nodded her head, biting her bottom lip.

"Please, come in." Willow murmured. Anne nodded and stepped inside. The dim light from the lamp illuminated the room very little and as Anne moved further in, she  made her way to the kitchen where she set the casserole down on the kitchen table.

"It's not much hon but.. It's not much." Anne sighed. "I didn't want you to be alone during this time. I hope that's alright." She murmured, looking up to Willow with large eyes.

"Of course it is." Willow murmured. "I still haven't... Quite processed it. Part of me doesn't want to believe it's true." I whispered. There was no conceivable way. It just won't possible. Bucky couldn't have died.

"Of course Willow." Anne murmured. "Acceptance is the hardest part." I shook my head.

"Believing it is. I don't.. There isn't going to be a body.. What if Bucky isn't dead but laid up in some hospital somewhere without his tags? It's.. It's far-fetched and I know I'm grasping for straws here but.. But.." Willow's yes began to water. There had been no break in the flow of tears since Willow first received the letter. She had cried last night, cried herself to sleep, woke up crying. Willow's eyes were tired and she was surprised she hadn't run out of tears yet.

Standing, Anne came forward and embraced her, wrapping her arms around Willow's neck. Willow cried into her shoulder as Anne tried to clam her down in a soothing voice. "Everything is going to be fine Willow." Anne murmured. "Everything is going to be fine." Except it wasn't fine and it never would be. This was virtually the end of the world as Willow knew it.

----

Willow didn't leave her house for three days and she hardly did anything in those days that she spent cooped up in the apartment. More of the girls came around and visited, bringing food and drink with them along with strained smiles and wet eyes. A lot of them had husbands or lovers overseas as well and hearing that Bucky had died brought up bad feelings and worries. If Bucky, strong confident and tall, could die then whose to say the rest of the men wouldn't?

The girls tried to stay calm though and remain strong, for Willow's sake. Her best friend had just died, they couldn't bring up their unwanted feelings in the midst of her grief. They had to let her come to terms with his death and she couldn't do that if she was trying to comfort everyone else as she usually did.

When the apartment went quiet though and all the guests were gone, Willow sulked, curled up on the sofa in her dead friends apartment and stared at the wall. What more was the to do? Eat? She went hungry. Sleep? She wasn't tired. Willow hated thinking it, but life was barely worth living now. What was the point?

On the third day, Willow finally decided to get up and go to the market. She needed more food, she was getting tired of eating casseroles. As she pulled her hat down on her head as she headed out of the lobby area of the apartments, Chester ran up, stopping her. He was breathing heavily and holding something out to her. An envelope.

"What is this?" Willow asked, taking it from him.

"Just arrived, it's from Steve." Willow's heart soared and like a flash, she tore back up to the apartment and opened the letter.

November 4th, 1943

Dear Willow,

I am so sorry to have scared you with my first letter. I asked Peggy to send it to you after I jumped out of the plane because if I had died, I wanted you to know what had happened to me and why I had to save these men. Willow, it was worth it. I saved Bucky and destroyed the Hydra base in the process.

Everyone is finally seeing me for who I am, a capable man. This is all I ever wanted, to show my worth to everyone. I can infiltrate a Hydra base and scrape by unnoticed while also saving lives and escaping un-scathed.

The army has allowed me to stay on permanently. I'm building my own team of highly skilled professionals so I can do more of the same that happened at the Hydra Base in Austria. We'll be crossing enemy lines and jumping into the line of fire but I don't want you to worry about me. I'm quick, agile. My body was made for this purpose and I'm putting it to good use.

The team I assembled is made up of guys I saved from the Hydra Base. They're a great group of guys, Bucky is one of them, he's made me mention that and the rest are from all over. Aside from Bucky there's, Dum Dum Dugan, Gabe Jones, Jim Morita, James Montgomery Falsworth and Jacques Dernier. They're all great guys who I think you'd get a kick out of. They collectively came up with the name of our group, The Howling Commandoes.

I guess I should say it again because I can't possibly say it enough now but.. I'm sorry for scaring you, if I did. That's the last thing I wanted to do and I hoped this letter would get to you at the same time as the other one but I'm pretty positive that it won't. I don't know how long it will take until you get this but.. I'm sorry that we scared you, hurt you. That wasn't my intention. I know you don't want me to take risks Willow but.. Infiltrating that Hydra camp gave me a sort of thrill I'd only felt when I first chased down that Hydra agent. It was exhilarating.

Please forgive me. I love you.

Love,
Steve Rogers

Willow pursed her lips as she read the letter. So they were alive. Alive and well. This was a great relief. It felt like a giant weight had been lifted off Willow's chest. Her boys were alive and well. Alive and well. There was still a page of writing left and Willow flipped to it and smiled, finding a short letter form Bucky.

November 4th, 1943

Hey Willow!

Steve is looking over my shoulder right now and telling me that's not how you start a letter but I don't care. Those last couple of words are a bit scribbly because Steve hit my arm. He's no pipsqueak anymore. It actually hurts when he hits me. Imagine that!

Steve gave you a damn fright, I know and I'm sure you've gotten the letter of my death which has been retracted, hopefully you'll get that letter soon and I just wanted to tell you that I really miss you, a lot. Especially after escaping that Hydra base. They.. They did some awful things there. Lab experiments of the sort. I was poked and prodded a bit but otherwise I'm completely healthy.

Hopefully you didn't grieve over us too much. I'm sorry if you did though. That's not what we wanted. The last thing we want to do is scare you.

Love,
James Barnes

And just like that, Willow felt better.