Johanna & Finnick: It Didn't End Like That

Chapter 19

Johanna's POV

The lake is within sight before you know it. 

Behind the cottage is a path to a private spot on the lake. Me and my family used to sneak into it because no one ever rented the cottage. So it was our secret spot. No one else dared to break the law and go in the property. But we did.

"Home," I sigh with relief. We walk down the pathway holding hands. I'm constantly glancing up at Finnick to make sure he isn't bored. He's always smiling, looking around like a curious puppy. It's cute.

"It's really beautiful here," Finnick comments. He squeezes my hand. It makes me jump a little.

"It is," I agree. My home was beautiful. I never started realizing how beautiful District Seven was until I turned twelve. A lot of District Seven was reserved for cutting down trees, but certain sections were reserved public parks, like the one at the lake. There's not a single clear cut there.

Finally, you can see the shimmering of the water between the branches. It makes me break into a jog. Finnick jogs beside me, still holding my hand. "We're almost there!" I say under my breath. 

"You think?" Finnick flashes me one of his signature grins that make my heart melt.

We stop in our tracks once our feet touch the pebbles. The lake is huge. It's shrunk a bit, but it's still massive. No one else is here on the beach or water. It's only us.

"Do people still come and swim here?" Finnick asks slowly. His eyes scan the area.

"I honestly don't know." I shake my head. "It looks like no one's stepped here in years."

"No shit." 

I walk over to the edge of the pebbles and kneel down, allowing my fingers to trail through the cold water. It's fresh and freezing, just like it always has been. "Some things never change, huh," I whisper, running my fingers through the water still.

Finnick leans beside me, doing the same thing. "Wow!" His fingers rise out of the water. "It's colder than I thought." 

"I told you it was," I laugh. "It's District Seven. It's never been warm here. Especially in the water."

"Fuck."

I look at Finnick. He looks lost. "What's wrong?"

"We forgot the bathing suits."

I groan, rolling my eyes angrily. "Now I officially am an idiot."

"That doesn't mean we can't swim," Finnick says, pulling off his shirt. I stare at him blankly. He throws it on the ground and takes off his jeans. All he's left in is just a pair of boxers. 

I can't help but stare at his body. "What're you doing?" I finally ask when words come to me.

"Getting ready to swim." He rolls his eyes at me. "Aren't you coming along?"

I bite my lip. Then my mouth forms into a smile. "You bet your ass I am."

I take off my shirt and pants, throwing them beside Finnick's. The air's not warm, so my legs are already shaking. We sit on the rocks and take off our socks and shoes.

"You ready?" I ask. We're standing on the pebbles, just a foot away from the water.

"Yeap. We'll run in on the count of three," Finnick instructs. 

"One..." I stare intensely at the water. "Two..." This is going to be a disaster. I close my eyes. "THREE!" Finnick yells. 

I start running as fast as I can. I go from ankle deep to above my waist, then I throw my body into the water, diving underneath the surface. I'm face-to-face with a very terrified looking Finnick Odair. His eyes are wide open, practically bulging out of his skull. We swim to the surface together.

"SHIT!" He yelps, spitting out a mouthful of freshwater. "It's like the arctic!"

"I'm used to it," I say casually. A fish jumps out of the water twenty feet away from us.

"I can tell."

I swim back to the shallow water so I can take a break. Finnick follows me. My fingers run through my hair, getting out the pieces of wood in the water.

Suddenly, Finnick picks me up off of my feet and starts charging at the water. Fuck. The familiar feelings of being tortured are creeping back."Finn, stop it! Let me go!" I hit his arms hard. He doesn't let me go. "FINNICK!" He throws me high into the air. The last thing I see is his smiling face before I'm greeted with the darkness underwater.

I gasp for air, thrashing my arms in the water. It feels like I'm being electrocuted again. The water acts like it's choking me. I can't breathe or see. The water's stung my eyes so I can't open them. "FINNICK!" I scream. "FINNICK, GET ME OUT!"

A strong pair of arms pulls me out of the water. "Oh my God, Jo. Are you okay?" All I can feel is the drips of water running down my legs, falling into the lake. It sends electric-like jolts down my spine. I scream into my palms.

I feel me being lowered down onto the rocky shore. Tears stream down my face. The water is still killing my eyes. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe.

"Johanna, talk to me." Finnick's voice cracks. He sounds desperate.

"I-I-I." My body is shutting down. I can't handle it anymore. One more touch of water and I'm going to kill myself.

"Jo, please!" A soft fabric runs up and down my back. He's trying to dry me off. My heartbeat is starting to slowly calm down. I'm still gasping for air.

A few moments later and the only thing that's wet is still my hair and garments. "Johanna," Finnick whispers. My eyes flutter open. His eyes are full of pain. I can feel him shaking. It's enough to make me break into sobs.

"I'm so worthless," I cry. My throat is raw and I can still feel the drips of water from my hair run down my neck. Sobs erupt from my burning throat. Each one sears like death.

"You're not worthless. Jo, you're anything but that!" I look up at his face. I can barely see Finnick's eyes from all of the tears. "It's all my fault Jo," he whispers, pulling me into a hug. My clammy hands grab hold of his back. Tears run down my cheeks. "I'm so, so sorry."

"You didn't know," I say, shakily laughing. My breathing is out of control. I breathe in sharply. "My stupid mind told me to do another relapse of all of this fucking shit..." I still feel like sobbing but I bottle up all of those emotions and bury them under endless thoughts.

"I should've reminded myself about that though." Finnick's voice is shaky. I'm terrified of the thought of seeing him cry in front of me. I hate seeing him hurt or upset. It makes me feel like dying inside.

"I thought I was better..." I think of all of the good times I had in water for the past month. "I was better... Then this happened..."

"There's always going to be a few relapses or slip-ups," Finnick whispers into my ear. His hands land on my shoulders, pulling me out from his chest. I can finally see his beautiful eyes. They look at me like there's actual hope in this world. "And you know what? That's okay. It's okay to slip up like that. But you're going to get better and better Jo. I've seen it. You might have another one of these, but we're going to be more careful about it. I promise you this will all be over soon."

My mouth forms into a smile instantly, though tears are still streaming down my throbbing cheeks. Another drip of water makes my body shoot up like a rocket. Finnick pulls me back into a hug, kissing my forehead. It still makes my heart sink as usual.

"Thank you Finn." I inhale his sweet smell. It makes me feel a million times better. "Thank you so much for being here..." My vision is getting blurry. I might be passing out.

"I'm always going to be here. Always."

Those are the last words I hear before it all goes black.