Johanna & Finnick: It Didn't End Like That

Chapter 21

Johanna's POV

"Johanna." Finnick's voice cracks. I stare at him wide eyed, wondering what's going on. He's trembling. His bottom lip is quivering and it looks like he's going to have a heart attack. "I love you," he barely says.

My mouth drops open.  I can feel my eyes filling up. My heart is beating faster than it ever has before. He can't be telling the truth... He's saying it as a friendly way. I know this. Stop being silly Jo.

"I love you too," I say, playfully punching his arm. Finnick looks at me like he's been shot. "Finn?" What he's doing is triggering a landslide in my mind. What's going on? 

"No. You don't..." Finnick shakes his head, not even looking up at me. "I love you." His eyes meet mine. And that's when I know in that moment he's telling me what I've wanted to hear for so, so long now.

"Wait... What? You love me?" This can't be happening. I must be hallucinating or something supernatural like that. 

"Yeah. I love you." His whole body is shaking so much I think his legs are going to give in. "I love you," he repeats, more softer and in a whisper. He looks so hurt and defeated.

"When? How...?" I shake my head, trying to clear the endless thoughts in my mind. Millions of new ones spark each second.

"It's been a long.... long time. I couldn't do it anymore. I had to tell you."

He has to be lying. This is a prank. Or a dream. "You love me?" I'm repeating myself now. I don't know what else to say.

"I love you Johanna." 

It's like he's screaming to me. I can feel my heart ripping through my skin and reaching out for his own. I want to kiss him now more than anything else in the world. My head is getting clouded and I want to pass out now at the same time. No... What's going on?

"I... Finnick...." My voice is shaking like crazy.

"It's okay. I shouldn't have even said anything. You don't feel the same, I get it. It's alright."

"No... Finnick, stop." I won't let him convince himself something that is the complete opposite of the truth. "Finnick..." How the fuck am I supposed to the tell the one person I love, I love them more than anything else in the world? 

"Johanna?" Every time he says his name sounds like static.

"I-I...." I have to fucking do this. "I love you!" I spit it out like it's poison. My head is throbbing, my heart is definitely having a heart attack. I'm losing the signal in my mind. I try to calm down my breathing, but it burns so much. I can't control myself anymore. It's become the worst it's ever been.

Do I dare look up at him?

I do.

Finnick reaches for my hand. When he squeezes my hand, every bone and muscle is ignited. I can feel every movement, every touch he does. I suck in a breath of air to calm myself down. There's a million things I want to tell him right now but they're locked in a cage in my mind. If I let them loose, what would happen?

"Johanna." Here comes the static connection. "Can you hear me?"

I can barely hear him. I can barely feel his fingers brush back and forth against my skin. But I can see it. I can see what's coming.

Finnick's free hand moves to my cheek. I can't breathe. It's like I'm sufficating. A rush flies over my body and sends me into shivers. His hand releases mine and lands on my back, pulling me to him. 

It's almost like slow motion; the movements we do before our lips touch. 

My mind breaks free. I kiss him like I've never breathed or lived a single damn day on this broken world. My hands wrap around his neck. Finnick's fingers caress my cheeks. Each kiss sends jolts of electricity through every bone in my body. I'm completely alive for the first time in my life.

I can't breathe, but it feels so good. I gasp for a breath, take it, and kiss him again. Tears run down my face. Somehow between all of this, I can feel it.

Our foreheads lean against each other. Finnick gasps for air, almost choking from the fresh oxygen filling his body. "Johanna..." Our eyes are wide open, blinking at each other like we can't believe what just happened. "Can you hear me?"

I nod my head. "I can..." I kiss him again. His lips touch my cheek, sending more bolts of electricity through me. "I love you so much Finnick... It's been so long. So damn long..."My mind is spinning. This is going way too fast but it's going the perfect speed.

My heart breaks through my chest and flies to his. I can feel them colliding towards each other and forming into one. We're now complete.

"I never want to lose you..." I bury my face into his chest. His arms wrap around me, locking me safe.

"You're never going to lose me. I'd die if I did..." I look up at him. The tears are flooding from me; my soul. He kisses my lips again. My heart flies out of my chest once more. I never imagined this ever happening. Or like this.

"I love you so much." I kiss his cheek, then his forehead. His lips meet mine again and they connect like a lock and key.

"You and me." His fingers trace against the bare skin on my neck. "Against the world. I want that so badly."

"I do too. More than anything in the world," I whisper. He kisses my lips again. The landslide in me starts flying. I kiss him back passionately, wrapping my legs around his waist. His hands move to under my thighs, holding me up.

We move into the living room. I'm dropped on the couch, looking up right into his sea green eyes. Finnick towers over me. I've never felt more safer and alive than today. "Together," I whisper. Our mouth's are brushing against each other.

"Together." He traces a heart on the skin below my collar bone. "We can do this."

"Yes." I sigh with relief. Tears from his face drop onto mine, flying down my cheeks with my own. "Yes,yes, yes. I want this."

"I want this to happen," Finnick whispers to me. My mind explodes. He said those words. The words I've craved; I've dyed for, for ages.

"Then let it happen."

Both of us explode at the same time. I kiss him hungrily. My arms are wrapped around his waist, tracing mixed patterns on his back. His shirt is off before I realize it. I continue to allow my fingers to do whatever they wish.

I kiss him passionately. His index finger traces circles around my cheeks. Everything we do is illuminated. I can see it all so crystal clear. Everything is engraved in my mind. Every little detail is beautiful, sending electricity flying through me.

I've broken free.

This can't never end. Now or never.