Johanna & Finnick: It Didn't End Like That

Chapter 17

Johanna's POV

Throughout the day, we packed up for the train ride to District Seven; my home. We only packed enough for two days, which was plenty enough. There were still other things we had to do in Four, so two days was the most we could.

"Bathing suits?" Called Finnick. He's packing in his bedroom. I'm in my bedroom doing the same.

"Do you think we'll need them?" I call back. The lakes and rivers in the forests of Seven are freezing, but so beautiful. 

"There's like rivers there, right?"

"Yeah!" I answer.

"Then obviously we'll need them!" I can hear Finnick rummaging through his closet from down the hallway.

I chuckle quietly and pack the first bathing suit I find. It's the one I usually use when we're swimming in our pool together. I select a few shirts, pants, and even dresses and skirts in case if I want to look nice one of the days.

"All done?" Finnick walks into my bedroom. My stomach tenses. Ever since I've kissed him, I've felt so different around my best friend. It's a mix of good and bad. I wonder if he even notices...

"Just about." I throw in a sweater and zip up my bag. Finnick holds out his hand for me and I accept. He pulls me onto my feet. I smile softly at him and grab my bag, tossing it onto my bed. "Thanks," is all I can say.

"Anytime. Are you ready for tomorrow?" He grins. It makes my stomach sink.

"I've never been more ready in my entire life," I reassure him. "Have you finished?"

"About two minutes ago. The train tickets are booked for both ways. We have to be at the station tomorrow morning at eight."

We both groan at the same time. That means a night without drinking or staying up late. Then a early morning wake up. Both of us hate waking up early. We usually sleep in until the afternoon. Sometimes we do wake up early.

"Really?" I frown.

"Really." Finnick messes up my hair. I roll my eyes angrily and rip my fingers through it to untangle the fresh knots he created.

"Gee thanks," I mutter. There's a huge knot in my hair that I can't get out. "Finn, there's a knot I can't get out! Can you help me?"

"Did I really mess it up that bad?" He asks, looking down at my hair. His eyes widen a bit. "Shit..."

"What?" He doesn't answer. "Finnick, what is it?!"

"I need a comb..." He reaches for one on the counter, then starts furiously ripping through the knot.

"FUCK, STOP THAT!" My head is burning. It hurts so fucking badly. He's hopeless at this stuff.

"Well you asked for my help and I'm trying-" He rips out another piece -"To help you! And it's almost out so just hold still!" He yanks out a few strands of hair.

My fingernails dig into his arm. "Fuck!" I grit my teeth together. I really hope I'm not bald like before when this is over.

"There we go."

I had no idea my eyes were closed. They open and I glare at him. He gives me an apologetic look. "Now are you going to keep doing that?" I huff, walking out of the room. 

Finnick follows me out of the room. "Probably yes. But never like that. I'm sorry Jo." I spin around and look up at him. He gives me a look that sends shivers down my spin. 

Fuck, why am I so damn attracted to him?

"It's okay," I say. "I was being childish anyways. It wasn't that bad honestly," I lied. My head was throbbing now and I know there's blood somewhere where the old strands of hair used to be.

His fingers intertwine with mine. My heart feels like it's burning alive. It's beating so fast I might have a heart attack. I dare to look into his sea green eyes. I breathe in sharply, making my heartbeat stop for a second.  

Why am I now acting like this around him? The voices in my head speak. He's Finnick; your best friend. That's all he'll ever be to you. Snap out of it Jo.

I shake my head and walk back to my bedroom. "I'm going to bed," I say quietly. "Goodnight Finn."

"Alright. I'll say goodnight to you in there when you're ready."

When I'm ready? 

"Okay." My voice is shaky. I break into a jog suddenly and race down the hallway and into my bedroom, slamming the door behind me. My fingers are trembling when they release the doorknob. 

I take a quick shower and prepare for bed. I leave the bathroom and open up my bedroom door to let Finnick know that he's allowed to come in because 'I'm ready.' It still confuses me.

I crawl into the covers and pull the sheets over my body. I curl up, trying to get comfortable. Ever since I haven't slept alone, it's hard to fall asleep and not have nightmares without him. But asking him to keep staying with me sounds like I'm weak or I'm starting to love him.

"Jo." My eyes are wide open. I grip onto the covers, making my knuckles turn white. "Can I come in?" He knocks on the wall gently.

"Yeah," I say. My voice is still shaky from twenty minutes ago. 

Finnick walks over to the side of my bed in his pajamas. I can't help but stare at him. The Capitol used to have one right idea: Finnick was the most attractive male in all of Panem. He was gorgeous. 

"I'm sorry about earlier," He says, sitting down on the end of the bed.

"It's just fine Finn." I roll my eyes.

"Do you have a headache?" He asks.

"No," I lie. "It's just fine."

"Okay." He gets up, going over right beside me. It's like I can feel my heart breaking through my skin and bones; reaching for his own and embracing it. "Goodnight Jo." He leans down to kiss my forehead. Right afterwards my skin is on fire.

"Goodnight," I manage to say back.

"I love you."

The words make me feel happy, but knowing he means the other way just breaks down my happiness. "I love you too."

He walks out of the room and remembers to leave the door cracked a little open, just the way I like it.