One Shot Compilations || camren

I Love Her Too Much

It's our anniversary today. She's not home, as always. In fact she barely comes home now. I don't know what she's up to, no one does. I tried to ask before but she just got mad at me. Furious. I could make up the anger in her eyes. All she could probably see was red. I got scared of course, I've never seen her like that, no one has.

Alcohol and cigarettes are two of the things I could smell every time she comes home. She stumbles upon our furnitures and throws them out of the way furiously. She breaks things. She breaks everything that we've invested our possessions into. She doesn't care anymore.

I lost her.

I don't know how or why but I just lost track of her.

Of course I want her back. I want our times together back, the memories that we have are irreplaceable.

"Happy Anniversary." I greeted as she slams the door open. I tried to put a smile on my face. I'm scared about what she's gonna do tonight. Will she hit me again? I should probably just move on now but I can't leave her like this. I vowed to never leave her side no matter what. But what if I'm the one who suffers all the time? This is not what I signed up for.

I didn't get a response. I'm used to it. She stopped caring about things like this.

"I made your favourite." I added and smiled at her once more. My green ones never leaving the sight of the younger one who's having a struggle to untie her shoes. "Do you want to eat together?" I asked.

Still nothing.

I stood up from where I've been watching to help her out.

"I got it." She puts her hand up in the air to stop me. She's drunk. That's how she comes home every night.

I still went against her will and helped her.

"I said I got it." She yelled this time and pushed me out of the way with all of her strength.

I moved out of her way and let her struggle through.

I wanted to ask her where she's been but I don't have the right anymore. I never bothered to ask.

After what felt like years of her trying to get out of her worn out heels. She finally managed to get out of them.

I smiled at her, acknowledging her success. She glared at me though.

She moved to the kitchen, well dragged herself to the kitchen. She looked at what I prepared for us. She didn't say anything, she just stood there in silence.

"I got you something." I handed a small wrapped up box to her direction. She didn't take it, she just stared at it.

"I love you." I stated matter of a factly. I did love her, I still do. I will never stop loving her, even if she breaks me in two.

Still nothing.

I grabbed her by her waist and lead her to a seat opposite mine. She didn't relent nor yelled at me for doing it. She just followed.

I took the seat in front of her and placed a slice of pizza on her plate.

I started eating my own food, she just stared at me.

No one was saying anything, the silence in the room is frankly piercing through my ears.

"Happy 6th anniversary." I greeted her once more. She didn't even look at me. In fact she barely looks at me in the eye now.

"I've heard you before, I'm not deaf." She spat and tried to get out of her seat.

"Please don't go. I'm sorry." I tried to stop her from leaving the table.

"Why are you even still here?" She asked.

I tried not to argue back at her but I know that if she doesn't get an answer she'll just be more mad at me.

I tried to think what I was gonna say to her but I don't have anything. I have nothing. I'm just worried about her. I love her too much to let her go.

"Give me a damn answer Lauren." She placed her hands firmly on the table to help herself stand up from her seat.

Still nothing. I have nothing.

"Fucking answer me!" She screamed and this time she cleared out the table with her arm. She didn't even appreciate the dinner that I had set up for the both of us. She doesn't care.

I didn't even notice that tears were now flowing down my cheeks until I started tasting their saltiness in my mouth. I wiped them clear, I needed to be strong for her.

I decided to just say it, say why I'm still here.

"It's because I love you Camila." I replied firmly. She didn't say anything. "I love you too much to walk away from you like this." Now I am the one struggling to stand up from my seat.

There it is. She slapped me again. I could feel the side of my face burning, the blood is now pumping up to it rapidly. A bruise would start forming on that area by tomorrow, I just know it.

I didn't hit her. I could never hit her back. She's too precious for me to hit her back. She's my masterpiece, I could never break a masterpiece.

Even if it's the same old routine every single night, the hitting, the name calling, the curses, I could never and would never turn my back against her.

"Camz calm down." I tried to grab her wrists to stop her from throwing her hands at me. Hitting me all over the place, scratching me. But I don't mind. I love her too much to leave her like this.

I would always rather be the one who ends up with bruises, blood running down my face, anything that leaves a mark on my body rather than her ending up like me. Like the situation that she puts me into.

"Let go of me." She screamed and tried to wriggle her arms out of my now tightly closed hands. I'm still trying to hold her down. I won't let go until she calms down. I would never let her sleep like this. Ever.

I started to wrap my arms around her, her smaller and fragile frame in my arms. I didn't want to ruin that, even if she ruins it every day. I could never lay a hand on that beautiful body of hers.

She calmed down, just a little bit. She broke down in my arms. Weeping. I don't know why but I don't want to ask her either. I just want her to let whatever it is that is bothering her out of her mind.

Now we're on the kitchen floor, her fragile frame in my arms, she's weeping in my arms as I try to sooth her.

My own tears made a reappearance once more. There's more of them this time actually. They're a lot saltier too. But I didn't pay attention to my own tears as much as I am paying attention to the younger ones in my arms.

"I'm sorry for ruining us." She sobbed through her tears.

What is she saying? Maybe it's the alcohol in her bloodstream that's making her talk right now.

I started running my fingers through her hair soothingly. It helps her calm down. I know it does. Even by just putting her in my arms helps her calm down.

"I'm so sorry that it got up to this." She continued. I still haven't said anything back. I never know what to say back.

"I don't want you to leave. I'm sorry." She cried harder this time.

I just held her tighter in my arms. I still don't know what to say because I would never leave her and she knows that. Not even after all of the things that she's done. Not after everything that we've been through.

I love her too much to walk away from her.

I love her.