One Shot Compilations || camren

The Hardest Part

It's been a few weeks after the accident, we still don't know what to do. We're so lost without you but wherever you are, we don't want you to stop guiding us.

I love you. We love you.

~

"She's coming today." My mum placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"They're coming here?" I asked and looked at the rest of the girls.

"Yes Mija and it'd be nice if you girls prepare something to say." She smiled to us sadly.

I heard the rest of the girls sighing with me, how could they expect us to say something when they bring her here in a calm state if we can't even control our own emotions at this moment?

Whatever, I'm sure she'll love it when we say a little something about our memories together.

Me and the girls all got ready at my apartment together before I heard my phone notifying me with a text message from my mom.

"She's there?" Normani asked with a low tone.

"Yeah." I sighed and looked at Normani to meet her eyes, "mom wants us there." I then added but my voice broke out a little and now I could feel myself shaking.

Dinah looked at me and that's when I lost it. I fucking lost it. I broke down, again in front of her, bawling my eyes out once more.

How could she just leave us like that? How could she?

"Come on Mila, Lauren would really want us to be there." She came up to me and placed a supporting hand on my back as she tries to calm me down.

"Oh fuck." I sniffed and tried to stop myself from crying more, "look at me, ugh. I'm a mess now." I straightened out my black dress to make it look more presentable again.

"I'll fix you up in the car." Ally offered and grabbed my hand as we all waked out of my apartment and into Normani's car.

Ally touches up my makeup in the car and soon we finally arrived at out designated location.

I didn't prepare anything at this moment and as we walk through the big doors and seeing all the white flowers and everyone in their black clothes just made it a lot worse than what it already was.

She wasn't really gone, she was still here, spiritually.

I can feel Dinah's arm getting tighter around me as we walk through the hall and be greeted by my mom.

"She's there if you want to see her." My mom moved aside and there it was.

We were greeted by her damn casket. The dark wood and golden rails doesn't really make it look a lot better for me, for us.

Dinah and I followed Normani and Ally who got the first look at her.

They didn't even say anything, they just broke down crying.

I don't know if I can face to look at her like that then, if Normani and Ally can't look at her like that then how the hell am I supposed to? Where on this fucking earth am I meant to get the strength to look at the love of my life lying in that fucking casket?

Dinah didn't even bother asking me if I wanted to see her, she just walked me to her.

Fuck.

There she was lying so peacefully like nothing happened to her. She still looks so amazingly beautiful, she still took my breath away but I know this will be the last time that I'll ever see her like that. The last time.

It felt like I've been staring at her for what felt like forever that I didn't even feel the tears rolling down my cheeks.

"Mila, let's go and have a seat." Dinah tried to tug on my hand.

"No, you go." I said without looking at her.

"Are you sure?" Dinah asked again hesitant in leaving me.

"Yes Dinah, I want to stay here with Lauren." I told her as I start to run my hand across the glass as if I'm caressing Lauren's face.

"Alright, I'll be with Normani and Ally." Dinah placed a kiss on top of my head and left me alone with Lauren.

"How could you?" I asked Lauren. "Why did you just leave us like that? I told you a million times to be careful babe, I told you to always be safe. What went wrong? I've never been short on warnings every time you leave the house. What happened? Tell me baby who's gonna go and run their fingers through my hair or my back just so I can fall asleep peacefully? The warmth of your embrace, who's gonna give me that now? You're so unfair Lauren, really." I start to chuckle and wipe away the tears with the back of my hand, "but even if you become MIA from now on, I know you will always still be here to celebrate things with us and that you will always love us every single day. That I would still feel your love no matter where I go." I added. "I love you babe, forever." I whispered and this time I lost it. I started to sob as I wrap my arms around the casket to hug my love for one last time.

"Mila..." I herd Dinah come up to me and is trying to unwrap my arms around Lauren's casket.

"No..." I told her as I tighten my grip.

"I know Mila but you've got to let go." Dinah sighed and now her voice broke out too.

"Mija..." My mom came up and wrapped her arms around me and that's it, she got me to let go of the casket.

I sobbed a lot more in my mom's arm, I was getting weaker, I could feel my legs trembling as I fall down on my knees and cried with all of my strength, as if it will get Lauren back in my arms.

Soon the ceremony started and everyone else shared their memories with Lauren and everything else.

I had to stand there and share the greatest memory that I have with the woman that I love and that is when she proposed to me during Fifth Harmony's 7th anniversary.

But now all that's left with me is her promise and the memory of her excitement when she kneeled down on one knee. That was magical, she was a masterpiece and I was the person who admired her the most.

After everyone shared their memory and the prayers have been said, it was time to bring her and let her to her rest.

Another preyed was said and in that moment they asked me to be the very first person to throw the very first rose on that casket.

Fuck.

I could feel myself breaking down again, I feel like I'm going to shut down this time.

I just let myself to cry it out silently as I threw that one piece of rose on the casket as the lower her down even more.

"We will be together soon." I whispered as if she was there right beside me.

"I love you." I stated as they finally finished on lowering her down.

Peaceful, that's what Lauren is in now.

She's in a better place and I will see her again one day.