Living Off Past Trauma [EDITED]

What A Wow!

Published 28April2025Edited 18June2025

Onika Calhoun Jones//Oni
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Two months later, the world felt quieter — and softer.

The chaos that once consumed my life had dulled to a peaceful hum. My hospital stays were over. The nightmares came less often. My heart didn't feel like it was sprinting every morning. I laughed more. I breathed easier.

And I was glowing — in every sense of the word.

At four months pregnant, my belly had finally begun to show. A soft curve that made me feel both terrified and beautifully real. Lamar was by my side more than ever, gentle and grounding, his hand almost always resting on my bump like it was the most precious thing in the world.

I didn't mind at all, for a matter of fact I loved. It just showed how much he'll be such a good dad. He's been taking excellent care of me and then even tho they're not yet here. He'd talk to them and read them bedtime stories. It was so sweet and they'd be times where I'd cry from how cute he would be.

Gosh I'm so loved

We were at the OB-GYN's office for a standard check-up. Just another visit. Lamar sat beside me in the quiet room, his leg bouncing, always a little nervous — like each appointment was a test he couldn't study for.

I laid back on the table, my hoodie rolled up to expose my belly. Coral, with smiling eyes, applied the cool gel and began the ultrasound. My hand reached of Lamar's one as I looked at the monitor.

"There they are," she said with a smile. "Looking strong. Beautiful heartbeats."

Lamar leaned forward, eyes glued to the monitor. "There's the twins?"

 Coral's smile didn't fade — but her eyebrows did raise which I was starting to worry about when I looked at her facial expression.

"Actually..." she paused, moving the wand slightly to the side. Her face shifted into something closer to surprise.

Lamar noticed immediately. "Wait... what?"

The room went quiet except for the soft whoosh-whoosh-whoosh of tiny heartbeats.

Then the she said it.

"Onika, you're not having twins." She turned the screen toward them. "You're having triplets."

I blinked, confused. "I—what?"

Coral nodded. "There's a third baby. Right here. Likely was tucked behind the others during the earlier scans. Or sometimes when you're pregnant with triplets conceived naturally or with fertility treatments, sometimes one embryo implants a few days later than the others. That means the third baby might not be visible yet in early scans. But this one's just a little smaller, but healthy. Heartbeat's strong. You're having three babies."

Lamar stood up slowly, staring at the screen with his mouth slightly open. "Triplets? As in... three humans?"

I covered my mouth with both hands. Tears welled up in my eyes — not from fear. Not from shock. But something deeper.

Awe.

For so long, I believed my womb was broken. Damaged. Scarred from trauma. And now, not one, not two — but three lives were growing inside me.

OOOOO I'M SO EXCITED BUT FLIPPIN' SCARED! 

"Three..." i whispered, blinking away tears.

Lamar sat back down and looked at me, eyes wide but filled with pride. "You're a miracle, you know that?"