there goes my heart - j.s

prolouge

"Adeline, we need to talk," my mother says in her dry, stern voice.
I groan, knowing what this is about. I take a gulp of tea and sit down across from her. Here we go.

"You know I don't like the idea of you moving to England, especially London. It's too busy and crowded and you've never been on your own in a big city before. I'm worried that your anxiety will become too much to handle, you know how it's happened before."

I guessed it. My Mum just won't accept that I'm old enough to fend for myself. I can't let anxiety confine me. I need to explore and be free. But I need to compose a strong argument, so I pause and sip my tea. It is warm and comforting and just what I need.

"Mum," I start slowly. "I know you don't like the idea, but it's my life; I want to get out and experience things. I can't stay in this small town my whole life. I can't hide away from anything that scares me. I love you so much Mum, but I have to go," my voice trembles but keep my voice clear. I have to do this.

She doesn't say a word. I hold my breath, aching for her to say that it would be okay. Aching for freedom.
She must see the determined look on my face, because her eyebrows unknit and any sign of frustration melts away. Her shoulders sag.

"Fine," she starts, and my heart flutters. "You can go, but I don't want your anxiety spiralling out of control. You can always come home. But I know you need to do this, and I believe you can."

Disbelief flashes through my mind, I'm going to London!
I am going to London.
I can't help but squeal exitedly.
"Really mum? Really?"

She smiles, around her eyes creasing softly, and nods.
"Yes, Adeline, really. You're definitely old enough now, I've just been holding on to too too long. I'm sorry.
"I'm sure you can live a life in London. I mean, you have huge savings account and I'm only a phone call away."

I feel like I could fly. Right now I could walk on clouds and breath starlight. I am finally free.
I can finally start living.

————

a/n: just btw, the way you pronounce 'adeline' is 'add–ah–lin',
NOT 'ad–ah–line'
(if u get what i mean)
ty that is all.

another a/n: i write a lot of these chapters listening to the lovely dodie clark's music, so if u like listening to music while u read, i recommend dodie!!

{edited}
(edited again 08/05/17)
[wow what a fuckin thought i'm editing this shit again 2/1/18]