there goes my heart - j.s

chapter thirteen

[one month since joe has left]

It's hard. Just like I thought. We talk on the phone and text almost every day. But it doesn't compare to real life him.
Real life, heart-fluttering, gently kissing, hand holding Joe.
The Joe that still managed to make my heart melt and beat quicker simultaneously, almost every time I was around him. The Joe that could brighten my day with a hug or a kiss or even a smile. The Joe that I miss. So much. So much my heart aches.

—

I never want to get up in the mornings. The day is too daunting. There is nothing exciting for me. No Joe with dishevelled hair bringing coffee into the room, with a smile on his lips. No Mum calling from downstairs, telling me to get up and stop wasting this day. No texts inviting me out. No one at all.

It just doesn't seem worth getting up. I only have one shift a week now, because now there's much more staff that has been hired, they don't need me as often.

Zoe has tried to help me. Invited me round. Stayed at mine. Taken me shopping. But it doesn't really help. At the end of the day, when I climb into bed, I still feel empty. There's still a place were Joe so often lay, which is now empty. I fall asleep, not quite warm enough because Joe isn't there, being the big spoon, his arm around my waist.

But I'll be okay. I'll make it through. I can do this, right?

—

a/n: wow oh my lordy this chapter fucking sucked im so sorry!! it like less than 300 words and adds basically nothing to the story. bUt i'm keeping it in here just because i've deleted a lot of chapters and i don't want to skip too much time from the last chapter to next chapter.
also wOw, young me was pretty overdramatic i feel like??? sorry bout it.

— "taylor"