Shadows of Death

Chapter 4(Charlie section 12)

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Charlie was released from prison one month ago. Today we have a date for lunch at the restaurant. When I was talking with Stephany on the phone yesterday, I told her not to say anything about the story to Charlie. I told her the same reason she told me: maybe Charlie will be in shock again and have to go back to the lunatic asylum. Stephany is ready to do anything for Charlie so he accepts my word easily. I was extremely happy. As long as Charlie is my lover, the money will just keep on coming! So far, I've taken at least $70,000 from Stephany, just for not saying anything to Charlie! That woman understood very well my feeling! I don't care if I'm married with Charlie after all. It's just a formal marriage. As long as Stephany gives me money I will play my role.

But only if that damn boy Christopher lets me do that. Today he appeared like a ghost in the restaurant and took Charlie away with him. He knows what I'm doing. He said a lot of taunts to me. I must cut off his relationship with Charlie. At noon when he took Charlie away I shouted without thinking: "Where are you taking my husband?" I don't know why I said that stupid sentence. Everyone laughed me at the restaurant. I even could see Christopher's tiny smile on his lips. He laughed to humiliate me too. I swear, I'll not speak with Charlie for a week! Maybe after all this he won't talk with that damn boy. Oh God, why is Charlie so afraid of him? I should talk with his mother Stephany. We can't continue our relationship like this!"

When he read the last memory on that devilish yellow diary, the flood of tears on his eyes suddenly stopped. The glare of hate in his heart did not allow him to cry. Suddenly he stood up. He tried to remove his heart from these knots. He looked at the diary with hatred and bile. In less than one second he threw the diary against the wall and tried to empty his heart with this movement. The diary hit the wall with a loud sound and then fell to the ground, but it didn't remove anything from Charlie's ravaged heart. The knot of hatred and was in his throat. He hated everyone, even his mom. He couldn't understand how this had happened but he knew he couldn't say anything about it and she still couldn't understand what happened. He sit on the middle of the bed and as he held his legs against his chest, he stared at the wall in front of him.

He stared at the white plaster wall. It was all he did five years ago and also yesterday morning before he was arrested. It seemed like he wanted to be crazy again! He had lost his mental balance and stared into an unknown spot like a maniac. He liked to stare, though, and not know what kind of people were around him. What they say to him. Truth or lie, sincere or hypocritical. He didn't want to be in this world. If he was just a marionette for his relatives, what reason did he have for living? Even his mother deceived him. He loved a girl who had abused him as much as she could. She played with him. Charlie blamed himself. For a moment he hated himself. He hated himself because Christopher had tried to make him understand about this issue but he thought it was just jealousy. In their last visit when they were in the limousine, Christopher told him some people were playing with him. And when he angrily asked: "Who?!" Christopher answered "Some people who don't want to see you in the lunatic asylum again!"

His tears flowed again. He had a strange feeling in the depths of his heart. Feeling alone added to that feeling and finally he felt hatred towards himself. He felt like a stupid person because he had thought Christopher was jealous of him. Now all of his words replayed in his mind: "Sometimes you need to be a robot to see reality. Because when you are in love you can't see reality."

"Blind love is not related to age. It's just the need of a foolish person like you."

"The problem with Iranian people is that we are very emotional. There is no difference between the president, our prison bosses, our mothers or a nurse trainee!"

"Love only who loves you back."

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Continue: Chapter 4 (Charlie Section 13)