The Lost Orb [PFS #1, The Bearer]

46 "Higher Stakes"

SASKIA'S POV

HOW LONG DO I have to replay these buried memories just for it to make sense for me? If you would ask the voice within me, I have thus far forgotten these episodes since the day I've lost my childhood memories.

A fever of phantasmagoria, a dream, or whatever it is. It's hypnotizing me. As if I am under a spell. I can't do anything but to make unresponsive stares. I felt Dull. Lifeless.

Why does it keep on reliving? I'd lost count of how many times I'd seen these events repeat in circles around the same situation.

Pagkatapos ng ilang pangyayari ay babalik na naman iyon sa pinakasimula. The vexing repetition fogs my mind further. It was the same setting: a small brown cabin, three people, a man and two women, except that one of them is a child.

And it was me.

From the streaks of her pale yellow hair glinting in sunlight, to her fair skin; I can guarantee that it's me.

The humble cabin was embosomed by a hectare of forest, hiding it from minacious trespassers. It could easily be mistaken as a forgotten or abandoned place in the middle of nowhere by its facade.

The basking sun was dreamy, just like the voice of the woman who's cradling a child in her arms. Kasalukuyang pinapatulog ng babaeng may kulay olandes na buhok ang batang babaeng nakahiga sa balikat niya.

Hindi ko mapigilang malunod at maging panatag sa boses nito, as if she wants me to lull back to my sweet slumber. Naningkit ang paningin ko sa kaniya dahil sa pamilyar na mukha nito. Parang nakita ko na siya noon, hindi ko lang matandaan kung saan.

Then a man came, dressed in his dirty white shirt and black trousers. His shoulder was overloaded with branches of trees.

Bahagyang tumigil sa paghele ang babae nang makita siya, nilapag naman ng lalaki ang mga kargado niya sa tapat ng porch skirt ng cabin house.

The birds were tweeting as he drew closer to her to give her a peck on her lips. Para lang akong nanonood ng buhay ng ibang tao, the whole environment were still fuzzy, like I am somewhat a bystander or an external eye who's having a glimpse of someone's past.

My past. This is definitely my past. The place is becoming apparent to my mind now after a series of recurrences.

This is where I grew up. Where I saw colors first, where I learned to crawl, walk, speak as they guided me in those days. Dati akala ko ay normal lang ang lahat, na normal na tao lang din kami. Kahit kailan nga ay hindi pumasok sa isip ko kung may artistry kami, dahil wala akong kamuwang-muwang noon.