Mute Songbird (boyxboy) -Complete-

Waking Up

I woke up staring at Dan's shoulder. His bare shoulder. It was nice. The expression on his face wasn't so happy though.

"Good morning Ash."

I wiggled my hand free and waved like a dork.

"I woke up a little while ago and I've been thinking about something. Can I run it by you?"

I nodded, really unprepared for whatever was coming my way. So much had happened yesterday that I had no idea what was on his mind. I tried to force my brain to wake up but knew it wasn't going to help much.

"When I tickled you last night you really couldn't tell me no. I'm sorry. You didn't want to be tickled and I knew that, and I didn't stop until you said something and I realized about 20 minutes ago that you can't always tell me no. I mean, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry. I shouldn't have touched you without you being able to tell me not to and I should have stopped way before I did and I'm really mad at myself. I won't do it again, okay? Do you hate me?"

I signed 'I'm fine' and then reached for my pad. I couldn't reach it though, over Mr. Shoulders, so he handed it to me. I lifted my pen and then realized I had no idea what to say. I wasn't mad about what he seemed so worried about; it hadn't really crossed my mind. But now that he mentioned it, it was kind of a problem, maybe. It could certainly become one in the future anyway if we actually had some sort of relationship. Maybe I was getting ahead of myself. I had no idea what to say.

I don't like being tickled but it was fine. Don't feel bad.

"I do feel bad. We need some sign -- hey what's 'no'? Can you teach me that and then I'll know what's okay and what's not?"

I signed 'fine', smiled, then signed 'no'.

"It looks like a duck. Quack, quack" he said, moving his hand around until his duck nibbled my hair.

I buried my head towards his chest, then pulled myself back and tucked some blanket between us. He grabbed my notepad and wrote me a note. It was cute, although I didn't know why he was bothering to not talk.

'Getting tired of me yet? Want me to go?' he wrote.

I shook my head 'no' but he handed me the pen and motioned for me to write. You can stay but I have to pee. Can you get up?

I'm comfortable. Go over.

No. You're the fucking Himalayas. Move D.

He signed fine and slowly raised all 8 feet of himself to a standing position. Wow he was tall from down here. I practically jumped out of bed and raced out of my room. When I got back he had clothes on although he was still lounging on my bed. I wasn't sure whether or not to be relieved about the fact that he was now wearing a shirt. He walked past me and I assumed he was going to the bathroom. I sat down and saw the notepad, then smiled.

Going to brush my nasty teeth. I need food soon. Brunch at my house? You can be my buffer to make sure they don't have the film crew of 'Intervention' waiting for me.

I wondered if he was really worried about that. I decided that a small part of him had to be worried, not necessarily about a film crew, but about his reception. Maybe he worried that his parents had talked all night or would change their tune once they'd slept on it? Either way, I was happy to go with him. I'm in. Give me half an hour to shower. Why aren't you talking? Writing sucks.

I pointed at the notepad and then left as soon as he was back. I tried to hurry but showers take time; there are things that need taken care of. He wasn't in the room when I came back and I checked the notepad.

Half an HOUR? Are you crazy? You get 5 minutes and then I'm raiding your fridge. Not talking because it seems more fair. I'm sure I'll get tired of this soon, it feels like being in school.

I headed downstairs and sure enough, he had a Poptart in one hand and a glass of milk in the other. I raised my eyebrows.

"What? Want one?"

I shook my head 'no' and chuckled.

"Ready?" he asked, grabbing an apple.

I was more than ready. My mom had left a note that she was at the grocery store so I texted her real quick asking for more Poptarts and a bag of cool ranch Doritos and told her I was heading to Dan's. It was a fairly quiet walk while he munched on his apple. I didn't mind at all; it was really nice just being with him. The sky was a gorgeous deep, bright blue with just a few small clouds for interest. We passed the house with the fish mailbox, our designated 'midway' point, and turned the corner. He slowed then before coming to a complete stop about two houses up from his. 'You Ok'? I signed.

"Yeah, fine. I'm nervous. Why am I nervous? It's going to be fine."

I reached for his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. He readjusted his bag, positioning it higher on his shoulder, then headed for home.