Mute Songbird (boyxboy) -Complete-

The Big Picture

I got almost the same reaction walking into my house as I had going into Dan's. This time I was the taller one though. He didn't hug small, my dad; he put all of himself into it. He always had and I was glad that it hadn't changed.

"I'm sorry" he said, still grasping my shoulders.

He finally released me and I looked at him, utterly confused. "Outside the...cover it fell."

"The tarp? No, the tarp didn't fall, I took it down."

"Why?"

"Come sit down, please. Asher, I took it down because what is written on the side of our house says absolutely nothing about the people who live here. It says a lot about whoever wrote it, but nothing about you. We'll get it cleaned up though because one, we don't own the house and two, it obviously bothers you or you wouldn't have spent heaven-only-knows how long trying to wash it off the other night. I got some spray that they tell me will make quick work of it and we'll give it a go tomorrow. Will you help me clean it up after church?"

"Yes..." I shook my head to clear it. "I'm sorry."

"You didn't paint it and it's not your fault. I'm the only one who should be apologizing here. I love you Asher and if you're gay that's fine. I don't mean 'if' like you don't know your own mind, I'm just saying that all the pieces that make you, YOU, are fine. More than fine, actually."

"What happen? Why you.. why is it okay now?"

"I was upset when I left here earlier, I admit it. I headed to church, hoping to find Reverend Graham. I thought he would commiserate with me and help me feel a bit less alone or, I don't know, I just needed guidance. Some words of wisdom. Well he was there and we went into his office. I told him about the paint and what had happened over breakfast and asked him what I should do. Instead of telling me though, he asked me some questions. We talked about the bible and homosexuality which let me tell you, wasn't a very long conversation."

My mom brought us drinks and sat down next to me. I was glad to have her there.

"And then he asked me what I thought Jesus would do in my place, in my shoes. Asher, I was still angry and I wanted to say to Reverend Graham that he would have acted the way I did but I couldn't. How could I? It would have been a lie. Because son, my Jesus sat with lepers and prostitutes and thieves. He told us to treat others how we wanted to be treated. He admonished us to take care of our families and our children. Nel, do we need to go into dinner?"

"No, no, take your time. It can rest a bit."

"So Asher, I'm sorry. It is not my place to judge you. You're a good kid, a good person and who you love doesn't change that. I was so worried about what other people would think of me and of my gay kid that I forgot that what YOU think of me is more important. Even more important than that is what that man upstairs thinks of me. There is not a doubt in my mind or my heart that he likes what he's seeing right now. I hope you can forgive me."

"Yes. Is okay dad."

Mom leaned her head on my shoulder a moment before hopping up. "Now that that's settled, let's go eat. We can talk in there just as well as here."

I had just finished my salad when he blurted out "Is Dan gay too? Or no? Does he know about you? Is that why you don't spend the night over there any more?"

My mom chuckled but made me answer. "Slim is... yes. He's my boy...friend. His mom and dad know and.... downee don't want us to sleep to-together."

"I see. I guess that does affect things, doesn't it? Your mother and I will have to come up with some ground rules for the two of you." He took three bites before he continued. "Nel, this is really good. So that's why you missed him so much that week he was away, eh?"

"Yes."

"And why you asked about the job extension."

"Yes."

"Dan's gay?"

"Yes."

"Huh."

I wasn't sure what that meant but I wasn't going to push. I couldn't believe that he seemed so accepting now when he'd been apeshit less than 12 hours ago. I owed Reverend Graham flowers or something. Maybe I should have mom invite him to dinner and thank him with food.

"Son, you're going to have to hold my hand and guide me through some of this. I'm gonna follow your lead though, alright? I'll be right behind you one hundred percent."

My mom was giving him lovey-dovey eyes. "I love you Mike" she said. They were sweet almost to the point of sickening. I wonder if they knew how lucky they were? Yeah, they probably did.

*** I didn't want to leave you all hanging overnight. I'm so freaking excited and just generally amazed that you guys like the book so much. Thank you!!! Y'all are rock stars.