Mute Songbird (boyxboy) -Complete-

Driving Miss Daisy

"Asher, have you ever tried to rap?"

Had I heard her right? Did I *LOOK* like I rapped? I shook my head no.

"Asher, have you ever tried to rap?" Mrs. Maldonado asked me again.

I was really rethinking the whole therapy thing and it was only 8:17 am on Monday. My mom had sequestered my phone during breakfast and I felt it's absence keenly. She'd even made me turn over my trusty notepad, even though I'd tried to tell her that there was, contrary to popular belief, paper and pencils at school. It was symbolic though apparently. Now Mrs. Maldonado was asking me really random questions and ignoring me, which she was supposed to do I guess, but still.

"There's a reason for the question, and the answer is important. Yes?"

I stayed quiet.

"No?"

Have you ever walked into your house at night, maybe gotten home late from a friends house or dinner and tried to flip on the light switch and nothing happens? That feeling, that 'what/how/afraid' feeling is exactly what I felt every time I opened my mouth. What do you MEAN there are no words coming/lights coming on? Is the light/thought burned out? What's unplugged? Faulty wiring? Is the power out? Where's my flashlight/note pad? Being stared at is exactly like hearing a noise coming from the other room. It's your house so it's probably perfectly safe, but right then your brain goes haywire. She was waiting, very patiently, but still waiting. I was going to have to make some sort of noise. I half sang, half said the first note of the scale: "Do."

"Very good. So I was thinking that you can sing, obviously, so perhaps rapping would be a step closer to talking. Perhaps you could pick a simple song to memorize and see if we can pull words from it on demand?"

Okay, the idea was interesting. There was music, but it wasn't sung. Would I be able to do it? Would it float through my head the way music did or get stuck in the twisted web that was my damaged brain? I really had no idea. I signed 'I try' but she ignored it. I stared at the clock, wishing for the bell to ring. My teachers had all had a conference about me last week, I didn't expect any problems from them. It's not like they normally called on me, anyway. They were actually the only people I was allowed to write notes to, and only then in emergencies or if I really didn't understand an assignment. Choir would be fine though, I would get to sing and see Dan. I just had to make it through until then. Chin up, feet forward, how bad could it be?

"Asher? I'd like to see you again tomorrow morning, and every morning after that. Each morning, before the bell rings and I let you go, I'm going to ask you a very important question. You can answer any way you need to, and if you say no, I will give you a pad and we will talk. Okay?"

I looked at her intently. I really had no idea what she meant.

"Asher, are you okay?" she asked solemnly.

Wow, that hit hard. It was nice of her to care. I nodded yes and signed 'thanks'.

"You're welcome. I'm glad. Okay, I'll see you tomorrow. Work on a song for me, and enunciate! Use your voice. Okay?" She was smiling, and I knew she had high hopes for CIT. I was glad someone was excited, because I really wasn't.

The bell rang and I headed to math. I thought of Dan throughout the whole class; studying for an exam was how we really got to know each other and now that I knew how smart he was, it was almost even funnier. I still wasn't sure if he'd been lying and making up an excuse to see me, or if it had somehow eluded him, but he helped me as often as I helped him nowadays. I should ask him one of these days.

When I got to choir, one of the sopranos, Jasmine, handed me a note.

Asher:

I hope you get this. I sent you a message but I don't think you have your phone. I'm in the office waiting to get picked up. My grandfather had a heart attack and we're driving to Pensacola this afternoon. Not sure when I'll be back. Please, please ask your mom for your phone, okay? At least let me know you got this?

I'm so sorry. The timing sucks and I feel like I'm abandoning you but I can't do anything about it.

I miss you already and you're only one floor above me. See you as soon as I can,

Dan

I folded it back up and put it in my pocket. I looked around the room, hoping against hope that it was a joke or something had changed or I'd just read it wrong. The bell rang though and still, no Dan. I forced myself to sing and it actually did take my mind off things for awhile, but as soon as I was back on the bus that afternoon, all I could think was that I had no way of talking to him. I needed my phone.