In Reality || Kellic [boyxboy]✔

Chapter Thirty

(A/N; sorry in advance. Next chapter is the final one I wanna cry)

It was 2am and I was sitting in bed, thinking. My parents weren't talking to each other. I was scared. As much as I hated their arguing, I didn't actually want them to divorce. Despite everything, they were my parents and I loved them. Both of them.

Suddenly, my phone rang, startling me. The ringtone was obnoxiously loud and annoying, so I quickly answered the phone without checking the caller I.D., like I usually would did.

"Hello?"
"Ke- Kellin, I need y-your help, oka- okay?", someone sobbed. Although they didn't say their name or anything else that could have given them away, I immediately knew it was Vic. I'd recognize his voice everywhere.
"Vic? What's wrong?"

I just heard more sobbing and it broke my heart. I didn't want Vic sad. In fact, Vic's feelings were more important to me than anyone else's - including mine. "Where are you? I'm coming there, alright?", I said as calmly as I could, while pulling on jeans and a hoodie without dropping the phone.

"Town... The- the big building with the globe on it..." I almost tripped down the stairs, trying to pull up my jeans, hold my phone to my ear and run as fast as I could while trying not to freak out about the current situation. "Okay. Okay, I'll be right there."

So I sprinted into town towards the building Vic had described. When I finally arrived, he wasn't in front of it and it wasn't open, so I figured the only possibility would be the fire-stairs on the side if the building, which led to the roof. I was completely out of breath, but the thought of something happening to Vic and the adrenaline kept me running.

"Vic!", I screamed as I had almost reached the top, "Vic!" I was now on the very top of the building, looking around frantically searching for any people.

After a couple of seconds, I spotted a figure crouched down, their back to the wall. Their body shook and I just hoped it was Vic. I ran towards the person, "Vic?!" They looked up and it was, in fact, Vic.

His eyes were red and swollen, tears still pouring from them like waterfalls. His bottom lip was quivering and his breathing was uneven. "Oh my god, what happened?", I asked as I dropped to my knees in front of him.

I touched his face gently and he closed his eyes. "Breathe with me okay? Everything's fine. I've got you.", I tried to calm him down looking into his beautiful eyes and taking long, deep breaths. After about ten minutes, his sobs subsided and his breathing slowly went back to at least kind of normal.

"Tell me what happened.", I said quietly, looking at him with concern probably written all over my face. "I... I don't know", he breathed, "I was gonna... I was gonna jump..." He started crying again, "B-but I don't know why, or what triggered it... It felt like I had no control over my actions... I didn't actually wanna jump... I was scaring myself so much... That caused a panic attack, I guess, I just... Thank you for being there. I love you."

My heart skipped a beat at his words, but he didn't seem to have realized what he had said, so I decided not to react at all. Vic's well-being was my priority. "Come here.", I said softly as he shuffled closer and let me pull him into a tight hug. I rubbed his back comfortingly and he just cried into my shoulder for a while, wetting my hoodie. Not that I cared, I was just happy that he was okay - physically, at least.

Out of nowhere, he pulled away, tilted his head upwards slightly and pressed his lips to mine. Despite how surprised I was, I responded to the kiss immediately as he wrapped his arms around my neck. And god, did it feel good to kiss him again. I had missed him more than words could describe. This was exactly what I had craved for weeks.

It was true, that when Vic kissed me, my brain shut down completely. My common sense seemed to be non-existent and I didn't mind either. In fact, it was a positive thing that I wouldn't always overthink everything. Just like at our first kiss, I didn't know what would come from it. Did it mean something? What would the consequences be?

Eventually, the kiss ended because we both had to catch our breaths. We didn't say anything. He smiled at me and leaned forward, resting his head against my chest.
We didn't say anything as we got up after a while, slowly walking home, our fingers intertwined, until we were in my bedroom.

I silently took off my hoodie and jeans, exchanging them for a random shirt that was on the floor and a pair of sweatpants, before sitting down on my bed. I briefly glanced at my alarm clock - it was nearing 4am already.

Vic sat down next to me and took a deep breath, "Kellin, we need to talk." He wasn't as unstable anymore, so I decided I could speak my mind, "What's there to talk about?", I asked coldly.

I could tell that he wasn't enjoying this, just by the look on his face. "I'm not good at opening up to people, so you really need to listen, cause I'm not gonna say any of this twice, okay?" I nodded, listening to his every word intently.

"So ever since we met, even when we were just texting at first, I really liked you. Although I found you attractive and everything, I know I was an asshole at first, but I couldn't let people in very well, for reasons we already discussed. Anyway, when I found out that we were going to the same school and everything, I was ecstatic. I knew I had a major crush on you the whole time, but I couldn't tell you, because I valued what we had way too much. Then you were dating Oliver and all of that stuff happened, letting me think I wouldn't ever have a shot with you... Anyway, when we were dating, it made me the happiest person ever and it was the best time of my life. I can't explain my actions after that yet, although I am aware that it was extremely stupid and I hurt you with it and for that I am so so sorry. I know we've only met about five months ago, but as hard as it is to say and admit to myself, I really love you, Kellin and I need you more than anything."

I was stunned. I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time and I wanted to kiss / punch Vic. I really didn't know how to reply.

"Please, say something.", he whispered. "I love you too.", I said quietly, my voice hoarse. I had never really thought about it, but now that I had said it out loud, I knew that it was nothing but true.

Vic grinned widely at me before flinging his arms around my shoulders and kissing me deeply. Although everything was perfect, I couldn't help but feel like this wasn't right. I couldn't quite describe what or how or why, though.

I pulled away reluctantly after a few seconds and frowned at him. I didn't know how to tell him this.

"Vic... I love you... I really do. But we can't be in a relationship."
He looked confused, "What? Why not?"

I sighed, "Graduation is only like a month away... I don't know why I want to do with my life yet... I need to figure out my stuff for myself before I concern myself with anything else. Don't get me wrong, I'm always here but we both know that relationships are stressful and I don't think that I'll be amble to handle that. Trust me, I'd love to be with you for the rest of my life, but I don't even know what will be in my future life..."

Now he looked at him with a slightly panicked expression on his face, "B-but you just said you loved m-", I cut him off, "I do!"

"But we can try to figure something out! I'll go to a college near here or not at all and-" I shook my head, annoying tears glistening in my eyes. He started crying too and my heart broke.

Why am I doing this to myself, and even more importantly - why am I doing this to Vic?

"Can we have tonight, please?", Vic whispered as he looked up to meet my eyes.

Something told me this was a very bad idea, that it would only hurt more in the end - for both of us.

I nodded and grabbed his face smashing our lips together in a sad, but heated kiss.

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A/N; fuck now even im sad uGh

I'm so so sorry this was a roller coaster of emotions.

I love all of you so much.