What Is Love? (BWWM)

Chp 58: Bleeding me Dry

Logan P.O.V
My eyes lingered out into the dark tracing the figure of the person I had ran my fingers across millions of times before. She leaned against the balcony a hand clenched to her stomach and the other holding herself upright as she took shallow and deep breaths almost like she sprinted here. It was obvious she had returned from some sort of event due to her over the top outfit. Her body was wrapped in a skin tight dress that trailed behind her some not even reaching the steps. I held my breath as I took her in. Even in the dark of the night, where I could barely see her face, she looked beautiful.

I could've made a move to turn on my porch light, but I couldn't trust myself....I couldn't trust myself not the fall victim to her cat like eyes that seemed to see right through me and her full lips that looked so warm and inviting leaving me parched and wanting to drink them in. Finally she peered up at me and like her eyes were electric her sharp gaze sent shivers down my spine. I tore my eyes away to keep from falling victim to those honey,brown eyes. I tried to straighten my conscious focusing on the fast beating of my heart.

But then... her lips parted and out of her mouth came her alto, silky tone. that low and raspy breathless tune that called out to me. "Logan" and like the fool I was, just like the day I first met her my knees became weak, and my heart pounded out of my chest as she casted her spell.

On Instinct, my body moved to the sound of her voice, my body eager to pull her into my grasp like I've done several times before. My heart burned at the desire to have her close to me, but my mind recoiled in fear as remnants of her words polluted her seductive tone turning it sour. My body revolted making my fist clench to my side.

"what are you doing here" My voice came out rougher than attendant making Patience visibly shutter at the tone.

"I -I had to see you... I missed you" Any other time her words would've sent me over the moon. the words that's crossed my mind several times when I was alone thinking I was selfish for yearning for her presence even when we were separated for a moment. Those words were like poison to me now it burned knowing her words that could levitate me can also drive a knife deep into my heart.

I felt anger flare in my chest and I stared back at her in complete disbelief. Did she forget the harsh words she spoke to me? Had she completely gone mad? Or Was I truly nothing more than a game to her? A toy just to be picked up and put down at her whim. But I refuse to fall for it again! I refuse to throw my heart out there and be made the fool again. "Goodbye, Patience." I went to shut the door, but it was immediately blocked her hand on the door keeping me from shutting it.

"Wait! Logan I just need to talk to you." She pleaded her voice coming out as a choppy and breathless plea.

"What more do you have to say to me huh? What is it? Is it that you're lonely and need a plaything to entertain you? Or have you come back to throw it in my face about how big of an idiot I was? So which is it Patience because I don't have anything to say to you" I hissed making her fall silent. I couldn't make out her face in the darkness but even I could tell the effect my words had on her but in that moment I couldn't allow myself to feel. I couldn't allow myself to be made a fool ever again by falling in love because it's true about what she said.

There is no such thing as love.

"I really hurt you...." Her voice was soft almost like she couldn't believe it herself.

I let out an exaggerated sigh feeling my head start to swell and my heart feel heavier. "Patience I can't do the back-and-forth. I just can't. It's draining me so please....." I pinched the bridge of my nose with my eyes clenched shut.

"I know you think I'm cruel, that I'm heartless and I probably am Logan. But those words I said I didn't meant anything by them I was only trying to protect you..."