Perfect

Body image

I was too busy drawing pictures, with my purple pencil, in my rough book to notice what was on the board(PSD is usually so boring and irrelevant to life). As soon as I saw the title, I put my pen and book away in my bag, and I started to concentrate on what Mrs Markhill was saying. 'Now then class, I know this topic is very personal, so please don't laugh or abuse your classmate's trust. If you have something to say don't mention any names, as this could offend someone.' she announced as she paced up and down the room. 'Kilie, please but that away!' she ordered as she spotted Kilie playing on her phone. 'How did she see that?' I heard her whisper to her best friend Bobbie. 'Right then, does anyone have an idea of what body image is?' Mrs Markhill asked the whole class.

I saw a couple of hands shoot up at the front. 'Becky, do you have something to say?' she kindly asked Becky (who did not have her hand up and frankly looked very shocked when she was asked). 'Umm.... body image is.....ummmm....What we think our body looks like and how we feel about ourselves Miss. Or something like that...'Becky answered slowly as she searched her brain for the right answer. 'Well done Becky, that is a very good explanation. Now, does anyone have any opinions or stories about body image?' she lectured as she stared at a sheet she had on the desk. No-one put their hand up. I turned to Abigail, who was sitting next to me, she was drawing on her hand, not paying any attention to what was going on. I turned around to face Lottie, and as I did so she finished talking to Flower and she put her hand up. At last, someone had finally put their hand up before Mrs Markhill resorted to picking on the unfortunate people, (who had nothing interesting to say, if anything to say at all!) 'Ah, Lottie. Do you have something interesting to say?' she said as she wrote something down on her piece of paper. 'Yes, I do. I have a question to ask...and a story as well. I shall tell you the story first....' Lottie murmured nervously as she looked at me again. Oh no. I sensed what was coming...

'It's about a...friend, a very close friend of mine. She really thinks she needs to go on a diet. But... we told her not to because she is perfectly fine as she is, she is the average weight.... and height of a 13 year old. But, she thinks that she is fat.' she stammered as she twiddled with her hair. Lottie was talking about me, how could she?! Amelia and Suzii obviously realised that she was talking about me too, they were quietly whispering to each other. All I managed to hear was '.....Lottie.....fat?.....right.....diet?......why?' which did not make any sense at all. Why was Lottie talking about me? She was supposed to be my friend...'Well Lottie, your "friend" seems to have a self confidence issue, or she has some troubled family matters. I would suggest for you to talk to her about it and stand by her. What was your question?' she inquired as she scribbled furiously on her sheet. 'My question was, I mean is....' Lottie began to say, but she couldn't quite finish. Right now my heart felt like it was going to jump out of my chest. I felt my hands gripping my jumper tightly. What was her question?! 'It's ok Lottie, you can ask me anything.' Mrs Markhill comforted, but she didn't show much emotion. I turned around to face Lottie. I must of given her more encouragement to talk (which was not the idea) because she then started to talk. 'Can bullying...make you feel bad about yourself, and then go on a diet?' she asked Mrs Markhill. Right after she asked that I felt my PSD book drop from my lap, onto the floor. 'Rosa, please pick your book up and be careful. Yes Lottie, bullying can have a negative impact on body image, and can even lead to dieting. Thank you for sharing that with us...Anyone else have a story to tell, or a question?' she told the class as I picked my book off the floor.

After class was over I ran straight back to the form room, holding my PSD book tightly against my chest. I almost felt like I was going to cry, but I held back the tears of pain that were building up inside my heart. 'ROSA!' I heard Louisa call 'Rosa, slow down!' I heard Amelia shout from behind me, but I kept on running and I never wanted to look back. I was the first one back in the form room, and the last by the looks of things because no-one else has entered yet, and it is a beautiful, sunny day. I chose a table right at the back of the class room and I began to listen to the world around me. I closed my eyes and listened...I heard people laughing, people playing, people talking, people shouting, people walking, people living. Something that I thought I never would be able to do properly. I was interrupted from my listening to find that my stomach was growling, shaking my whole body. I gave in, I know I shouldn't have...I ate my whole lunch, and I didn't think about it once. I was so stupid. How am I going to lose weight if I eat too much?

I was too busy eating to notice that Louisa and Flower were standing right behind me. 'Hi..' Flower managed to say after I had eaten. Her voice sounded sore, like she had been crying. 'Great to see you eating properly again....' Louisa commented as I put my empty lunch bag away. Her voice sounded hoarse, like she had been crying also. 'I.....am not eating "properly". For your information...I am still on a diet....I do not have a negative body image. I am just fat ok......I need to change that. I mean, look at you two, you look perfect and slim...I don't..' I trail off as I play with a strand of my hair. 'Rosa, we're sorry, we just want to help you...' Flower stuttered as she tried to hold back tears 'I told Lottie to ask about you ok, don't blame her. But we did it for your own good....You are not fat ok Rosa. No matter what you say, what you do...You may of given up on yourself. But we, all your friends haven't. And we never shall!' a sobbing Flower exclaimed as she and Louisa started to walk out of the room, Louisa comforting Flower. 'Guys...come back....please. I'm sorry if I upset you. I just miss dad, and the bullying didn't help... ' I murmur into my arm. But what was the point. They had already gone.