Perfect

Darkness

I arrive back from school feeling shattered and hopeless. How was I going to make it up to the guys? I think as I place my rucksack down on the kitchen floor. 'Mum, I'm home!' I manage to shout, but then I start to burst out into a coughing fit because my voice is so hoarse from crying about PSD. 'Welcome back! There's some cold pasta in the fridge, I think....Help yourself!' I hear mum cry from her bedroom she also sounds like she was crying. This was very unlike mum, but since dad died she has been crying almost every week. I know dad would hate to see our family like this. I open the fridge door to find the cold macaroni and cheese in a plastic tub. I grab it and place it on the table. I shut the fridge with a load  BANG! Oppps... (Just to warn you, no food was harmed in the making of the BANG!) I get myself a knife and fork and I begin to eat, more like playing with the pasta. I didn't feel like eating, but I was hungry. What was mum doing? 'Mum, are you coming down?' I ask as I pour myself a glass of water. 'Mum?' I call again. There was no reply.

**Mum's POV**

I was just putting my make up on, so that Rosa wouldn't notice that I had been crying the whole day, when I hear her arriving back from school. She was early, I was so surprised to hear her come in that my eyeliner slipped. 'Stupid hand..' I curse under my breath 'Mum, I'm home!' I hear Rosa shout, I tried to think of something normal to say, something that would not strain my voice too much.  'Welcome back! There's some cold pasta in the fridge, I think....Help yourself!' I manage to cry, but my voice was hurting so much! I needed water, but I had to go into the kitchen to get it. Then I hear the fridge door slam with a bang, I almost call out, but that would strain my voice far too much. I hope that Rosa is eating down there...I need to check up on her.. I think as I look at myself in the mirror. I look a mess...This was not the woman that Graham had married, and loved. Then I burst out crying yet again, I couldn't help myself, everything I did to try and make it stop, I made it worse. 'Mum, are you coming down?' I hear poor Rosa ask. I wasn't a very good mother, was I? Crying on my bed, staining the pure white bed sheet... 'Mum?' Rosa sounded worried, oh no, she can't come up...otherwise she will see me like this. Oh no. What shall I do?

I hear Rosa creaking the wooden floorboards of the stairs. Oh no, she was coming up. I have a look around my room. It was a mess, tissues everywhere, glasses of water and coffee littered on the desk and plates of half eaten food on the floor. I couldn't pack away in time. So I put an extra layer of make up on very quickly. I hear Rosa coming closer. I throw my make up back onto my desk, then I open my door to find Rosa listening in on me. 'Hello sweetie, you should be...eating, hum...' I say as I clear my throat '...eating downstairs.' I cough into my hand. It hurt so much to talk. 'Mum....Are you alright. Have you been crying? Can I see inside your room?' Rosa grunted, she sounds like she had been crying. My poor baby....I have to be strong. She mustn't see my room. 'I'm fine sweetie, I was just tired...and I feel asleep, ... I was asleep, umm....most of the day. My room is a mess....please, I need to rest my head.' I croak, Rosa seems to understand. 'Ok, I'll leave you to rest, see you tomorrow!' She says as I begin to close the door, then I stop 'Rosa?' I call, this takes a lot of effort. 'Yes?' she questions 'Please eat ALL your pasta. And...be a good girl and go to bed on time and....' I trail off. 'Don't you worry mum, I have it all covered. You need some rest!' she laughs, acting like the mum of the household. I then close the door and I lie on my bed. Phew! I think as I turn out the lights. 'Tomorrow will be a better day...' I murmur as I drift off to sleep.

**Rosa's POV**

 I leave mum to rest, then I go back into the kitchen and I finish my pasta. It took a lot of effort, but I ate it all, I shouldn't have, but I did it for Flower and the guys... I then pack away, and I didn't feel like doing much else so I clear up, brush my teeth and have a shower. 'Oww!' I curse as I stub my toe on the bath. I wrap a towel around me then I get dressed in my bunny PJ's. It was only 6:03PM, far too early to go to bed, but my head was spinning with thoughts and my stomach hurts. 'Ummm...' I sob into my pillow. Why was life so complicated? I got out my phone and I looked at my texts. The only new text was from Lucy. It read:

We are all really soz for wat happnd Rosa...We didn't mean it...We care abt u, we wnt u to be happy :) Plz, don't go on a diet. We all love u jst the way u r! U r perfect :)

I was really touched, so I texted her back:

Thx, I was such a poo, I don't wnt u to be sad :( Plz, can u forgive me? I will stop this diet, right now :)

I looked at what I had typed before I sent it. I needed to go on a diet, but if they don't want me to...Maybe I could eat properly at school, but not at home, what a great idea! I click send and then turn my phone and my light out. 'Goodnight....' I whisper as I lie in bed. I feel my eyelids getting heavier, and then as quickly as I woke up, I feel asleep...

'Hi Rosa!' Flower screams excitedly, but she looks a lot older, so does everyone else...Weird? 'Glad you could make it..' a sleepy Abigail calls 'Are you sorry about ruining our lives?' Louisa taunts, she looks so tired and less mature. What did she mean 'ruining our lives?' 'I would of married Louis Tomlinson, if it wasn't for you...I was so worried about you. I couldn't get to sleep at night, and I hated my life....So I just gave up...' a crying Suzii whimpered, she had bags under her eyes, and her eyes were puffy and red. I felt so bad, what had I done wrong? Suzii has always wanted to marry Louis, I had stopped her from doing that. 'I'm so sorry, I stopped my diet, look, I look fine!' I desperately call out, all of my friends are now spinning before me...'I would of had a great career as a Vet, I would of been paid £150,000 a year! But now, because you made me so self conscious, I lost my faith, trust and ability to carry on....So I just gave up....' an angry Lottie screamed into my hear. My ear was pounding and my head was throbbing. 'I'm so sorry, I will give up on my diet, anything, anything to give you your dreams back!' I manage to scream 'Just please, stop!'I cry 'I would of married Zelo...' Amelia sobbed 'I would of had a normal life!' Abigail cried 'I wouldn't of cut myself if you didn't go on a diet!' Louisa screamed 'It's all your fault!' Lucy called 'It's all your fault!' they all called in unison 'I'M SORRY!' I yelled at the top of my voice. All I saw then was darkness...