I'm Married To Pain

Chapter 34

A/N: Shoutout to Ms. Shaira Joy. This is for your forever :)

[... And even though it seems I have everything, I don't wanna be a lonely fool. All of the women, all these fancy cars, all of my money don't amout to you. I can make believe I have everything but I can't pretend that I don't see that without you, girl, my life is incomplete...]

I called Cley to accompany me in a bar tonight. Song after song seemed to tell my story. I don't know. I never gave much attention to these songs before but now it seemed so real.

"Are you letting her go?" He asked me.

I'm pretty drunk but I know what I am doing. It's just that, I'm pretty dizzy.

I looked at the guy singing on the stage.

I wish he knew what's going on with me so I can punch him in the face.

I smiled at Cley. "That's the reason why I called you. I actually want to know your opinion about it. What will you do if you were in my position?"

He thought for a second and smiled. "If I was in your position, I will never cheat on her in the first place. It's stupid." He laughed.

I know that. "Okay. But what if you already did. And she's asking you to--" He cut me off.

"Woah. Woah. Wait. I get it, okay? I was just kidding. But seriously? I will never even have to think about it."

"What do you mean?"

He drank his beer. "Remember what she told you when we first met them? If you really love someone, leaving won't be an option. She said you have to fight whatever the cost."

I smirked. "Even at her expense?"

"You really think she just wants us to pay for what we did that's why she agreed to stay? She could both leave you and put us in jail. But she gave you an option."

I fixed my seat.

"She wants to make sure you want her to stay. She's fighting. How about you? What are you doing?" Cley asked me arrogantly.

This is why I still love this jerk all my life. Even if we fvcked our friendship up, I believe it just made us trust each other better. It made us miss it and it made it stronger. I missed all of them.

I stood from my seat. "Bro, thanks really. For everything. For the advice and... the bill." Then walked out.

I heard him saying, "Man! Hey don't. Jared!!! I don't have--"

I just laughed at him. I knew he didn't bring any card or cash. I guess he can wash the dishes or give them his car. Maybe not.

I thought of what Cley said awhile ago.

Am I going to do this to her? Or should I just let go?

I reached home exactly 1:32 am. And she's not yet asleep. She's standing in the house's library alone in the dark. She hugged herself from the coldness of the room. The only thing that's making her visible in my eyes is her silky, white night gown. Her hair falls perfectly on her back. Her right shoulder exposed by the oversized robe she wore. I heard her sob.

"This is not the right place to cry, I know." She said as she heard me walking closer towards her.

I reached her and instantly put my hands on her shoulders and whispered in her ear. "You shouldn't be crying in the first place." I directed the topic to what I really want to talk about.

I want it over now. Yes. And when I say over... it means the hardships our family is going through.

She didn't reply. "I don't want to put it in three words because those are meaningless already. I want you to know that everytime I look at you, I see only you. And everytime I look, kiss and touch Stacy, there was not a single time that every cell in my body wished it was you."

She let out a soft laugh. "You're clearly saying how much you love me. Only me and not her. What about it?" She jeered at me.

The mockery insulted me in a way but I shook it off my head.

I turned her to me and looked her in the eyes. The love diguised by anger and hurt in her eyes made me auspicious. Atleast I have something to hold on to just in case she don't swallow her pride.

I sighed deeply. "One word from you and all these will be over. Do you really want me to let go? Do you really want this marriage over? Don't you really love me anymore?"

She stared at me. Her eyes going back and forth both my eyes. Then she blinked twice and furrowed her brows.

There was no answer.

I smiled and let my body give in. I kissed her the most gentle and the best way I possibly can. She didn't hesitate to kiss me back.

I felt her anger and love at the same time. She let me push her against the shelf. I took off the robe that's hanging in her arm, tempting me awhile ago with her shoulder.

I kissed the side of her neck, down to her shoulder. When I got there, her hand gentle pulled the hair at the back of my head. I bit her neck, making her moan a little.

I lifted her up without cutting our kisses to find somewhere I could lay her. I kicked the table in the middle of the room. It crashed against the door. I laid her on the cold floor.

When I noticed it, I cut our kiss to ask her. "Do you want me to get a carpet or something?"

She smiled at me, biting her lower lip. "Don't worry about it. It'll be warm soon." She flirted.

I laughed a little and went back to business.

***

Ashley's POV

Is it so wrong to forgive someone? Is it so wrong to be stupid? Is it so wrong to choose to be happy? It feels easier this way. It feels lighter. Is it so wrong?

If so, then I don't want to be corrected. I'd choose to be wrong as long as I know it's for Jared.

I realized, I never really got tired of fighting. I just needed him to fight with me. And now that it's happening, everything seemed to fall into place. It seemed that nothing can go against us. I feel stronger.

I just hope when I wake up tomorrow, the strength I am feeling will still be laying next to me.