I'm Married To Pain

Chapter 18

*** Jared's POV

I almost lost her. Almost.

For a moment, I felt my world stop. I recalled my life for a minute and realized, if God's making me pay for this, let me pay. But I won't let my wife and my child pay for it. Never.

But God heard me. I know He did. Despite the fact that I can already be Satan's angel on earth, He still granted what my heart wished for.

Seeing Gab in the nursery room a while ago made my knees weak. I can't almost feel them. I just want to stare at him forever. Just stare at him. Him and her wonderful mom.

I caressed Ashley's hair and held her hand tight. I knew I was never wrong when I married her. I married a strong woman who can die for her child or live for her child. She can do either of them. But I‘m glad they both lived for me. No, I'm beyond glad and happy put together. No one can ever explain the kind of feeling I had when I saw them breathing. It's priceless.

"Son. Your wife did great. She did." Father tapped me in the shoulder.

"I can even see her lips on Jansen." Mom cheerfully said.

Avrile laughed at it.

"And he has my eyes. Even my nose." Father said.

We laughed all together. "Only because I looked like you. But the truth is, his features are mine."

"Says who?" A weak, sweet voice said. My heart skipped a beat.

Oh. So, that's how you feel when your heart skips a beat. I only read them in some literature novels way back in middle school. And Ash proved that it's true. Really true.

"Hello dear." I kissed her forehead.

"I want to see if he really looks like you." She smiled.

What I learned from this woman? It is to pleasure every moment spent with the ones you love, good or bad, because no one knows when you can no longer feel anything.

*** Cley's POV

We used to just laugh at Jared being a future diddy daddy. But when I saw him a while ago, I don't think I can still laugh about it. It is a matter of life and death situation.

But when it's over, I felt envy. Envy because he already gets to experience what it really is like being a father. But as usual, I won't let them feel I have this in mind. I will still laugh at him, though inside, all I really want to do is to salute him.

I swear, I almost cried when Ash first saw her baby. I actually expecting lame names especially Blue. Since Jared is called Red. I don't know about our classmates before but that's how they call him. Jansen Gabriel is even better than Tyler, Cley, Jcee and Jared put together. Okay, now I'm being sentimental. But ok. My point here is, Jared is no longer free. That's a fact.

And about the missing file. Well, wherever it is or whoever has it, she/he sure owes me a lot of money. BIGTIME!

Well, anyway. Jared took a month off since he has to assist Ashley with Gab.

"I spent 27 hours awake with few 15 minute naps." Jared softly complain to us. And yep. He just woke up.

Ashley can't really do the job of motherhood right now. Her wound is still fresh, her body is still weak and I heard how painful it is for her to breastfeed the baby. Therefore, Jared must take care of Gab, and also Ashley. Hah. I wish he's smart enough to hire some babysitters but his awesome pride told him to take care of his family himself. See? Stubborn dad.

"Don't worry, man. You served well as a good example to us." Tyler patted his shoulder. Jcee and I nodded at what Tyler said. Just to tease Jared a little.

He asked in confusion. "Example?"

"Yep. We learned not to get any girl pregnant unless, otherwise, badly needed." Jcee finished the idea and we all laughed at the end. Well, except for the totally-pissed-and-insulted Jared infront of us.

"You really think that's funny?"

"Yes. It is." Tyler said.

I can see that no one from us really changed. No matter what turned our lives upsidedown, we will still be just Cley, Jcee, Tyler and Jared. Regardless if we are now married, CEO's or engaged.

Wait. Am I the only left in the immature stage? Great. Just great.

*** Jared's POV

My not-so-friendly friends came today to... err... I don't know. To either laugh at me or insult me. But I'm still glad they came. Ash's mom will be coming tomorrow. She'll be a great help to both Ash and I. We can learn things from her.

Yeah. My mom didn't really take care of me 100%. She was surrounded by maids and guards before. That's why, Ash's mom knows better.

"What are you thinking?" Ash asked.

I stared down at Gab who is gently sleeping in our bed, beside Ash, who is caressing his back.

I took Gab's hand and place it to mine just to compare. His hand is so small, so soft and vulnerable. Everything about him is little. His eyes, his ears, his body... everything. And it's just so amazing to look at. I was once this small but look at me now. I know I will do great job being Gab's father. I know I will do better than dad. It's because I have Ashley beside me, my beautiful wife.

"I was just thinking how amazing his small body is. He's just so small and cute. But everything that's composing his body are full of us. It's just... the most wonderful thing that's ever happened to me." I honestly said.

She just smiled at me and looked at her son. Our son. "If this is the most wonderful thing that happened to you, when was the lamest?" I know she's just trying to wake both of us up by talking about random stuffs we can talk about.

"Well, as a kid, my father always takes me to his meetings and such. I used to just sit in the corner, look and listen to what they are doing." I laughed at myself when I recalled the memory. "One time, dad took me in his big meeting with a big international company. Because I was bored, I slept. I sort of rested my elbows in the table and put my forehead at the top of my hands. With that, I fell asleep but wakes up everytime. Until a complete silence woke me. I thought it was over so I lifted my head. Only to find everyone staring at me. I can't forget how my father looked at me. He was sooo mad!" We laughed at it.

"Of course, to defend myself, I said in a loud voice, 'In the Lord's name. Amen' then did a bit sign of the cross. They laughed at me and was very much amused by me. Well, except for my father. I got a real counselling from him after that."

I can see her turning red, not wanting to wake Jansen by her laughter. I laughed at her, softly.

I didn't know what happened but I just kinda pulled her head and kissed it. Like it's the first time. I felt this strange twist in my stomach, making my heat beat faster. She pulled back and smiled at me.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

Like I know, for pete's sake! "What wrong?"

She frowned a little, making a cute expression. "No, I mean, you look stupid."

I sighed. C'mon Ash. You always say I look stupid.

"I'm inlove with you, you know? Obviously, it's much more than you do."

A nerve-bursting silence came between us. Ugh! We're married, I know. But does it have to be this awkward? Like a fifth grader nerd trying to propose to a goddamn hot bitch.

Finally, she smiled and cuddled in my chest. That relieved me. Really.

"You tell me you love me every single time. I know you do. But these are just the few moments I felt it sincerely through your words. Like it meant so much more."

I laughed. Yeah. I'm a weird guy now! "Like falling inlove for the first time?" I admitted the lamest feelings I have.

She giggled. "Yeah. Something like that."

I admit, I don't deserve this kind of life. But I really pray God won't take it away from me. Not after giving it to me. Or I swear, I'd die.

I want it too much now. I need them. So much that I can't imagine life without them.