Poems of my Mind

This is so stupid.
Another bad mood.
Like a wave passing over.
A wave of bad stuff.
Stuff.
That's bad.
Like friends.
The fuck are friends?
They're people.
Thanks, that really helped.
They're infuriating and annoying and uncontrollable.
Not all of them.
No, not all
Some are good
Great even.
But I cant deal with the
Ones who don't
Listen.
Just fucking listen to me!
I don't care what you're saying just...
Just...
Listen.
Listen.
Listen!
I grip my head and calm my racing anger.
Or not.
I throw my phone.
I throw a book.
I crush a bottle.
I flip a switch.
And a tap.
I kick the sofa.
And hit the bed.
And the wall.
Anything to release the
Uncontrollably fury
I seem to develop in an instant.
Waves.
They pass.
Eventually.
But God its so..!
I silently scream in my head
They just
WONT LISTEN.
I try make my point calmly
And they just hear cynicism.
So they adopt that tone.
I try stay
CALM
But I just get more
ANGRY.
Why don't they understand?
Are they stupid? Dumb?
No, you know they're not.
SHUT UP.
They're cruel and unjustified!
They're twisting my words!
They
BLAME ME?!
FOR WHAT!
Nothing has even happened!
I just want you to
LISTEN.
They do listen.
NO,
THEY DON'T.
Or they would
UNDERSTAND.
Why I'm saying this.
What I
MEAN.
I'm just defending a friend!
But that doesn't mean I'm against you!
Get it in your skull!
You're not my enemy.
Who even has enemies?!
You do.
Ok go away right now.
But I'm right.
You know I'm right.
Stop being so damn melodramatic.
Friends are complex, sure.
They're different, sure.
But they don't mean any harm.
Not usually.
They want to be heard as much as you.
Maybe you should listen to them
For a change.
Just because they don't understand
Doesn't make them evil.
Just because they don't like someone
Doesn't make them cruel.
You know this.
Do they?
I don't know.
Its all I really want them to know.
But its the one thing I never say.
How can they listen
If you don't speak.
They're all exactly how they should be
They don't need to change
And I understand that.
Sometimes.
Bear with me through my
Waves of anger
And confusion
And control.
I just want you to get along.
And see each other
The way I see you.
Which is
In the best light
That I can harness.
All your faults and imperfections
Are what make you perfect
Even though that sounds silly.
And also ridiculous.
Shush you.
I wish I could really show you the way I think,
So you could truly understand why all this is difficult.
But as that is impossible,
I hope that if you ever read this,
You might begin to know.