Poems of my Mind

It hit me like a train

The impending end

A dark reminder of my many faults

Like a dead end to my dreams

I never could imagine my future

It was a mystery

My ambition was unrealistic

And my 'talent' wasn't real.

I lived in a fantasy

To believe things would stay the same.

But now I know

Each life has its end.

Nine years to live.

It's not long enough

To live out all I imagined.

To exceed expectation.

But it all makes sense.

Who I am.

Now I realise I have

An expiration date.

An adult

With my mind

And body

And soul;

I wouldn't survive.

I won't survive.

I don't think.

It's impossible to see the future,

But I have a hunch.

My existence ends

Before I truly grow up.

I can't live a life

Of work and change

And everything else that comes with

Leaving your adolescence behind.

I'm not built that way

I can't deal with the smallest of challenges,

So how am I supposed

To deal with life itself?

Maybe its not a literal end,

It could be metaphorical.

A change in me

After twenty three

Or so.

I won't be the same,

Or I won't be there at all.

One or the other.

It only makes sense.

To me.

I can't see me

-The me I know-

In an adult body

With an adult life.

I still cling

To dreams of the past,

Dreams that just won't happen.

Least of all to me.

All my hopes

Are washing away

Even as I articulate

These words into view.

For I know