I'm in Love with a Jackass

Chapter 3- Pour Your Heart Out

"Bam..." I whispered under my breath. I halted, holding the door wide open. 

He stood diagonally from me on the opposite end of the hallway. He was talking to Steve-O and Chris, laughing, until he saw me. Ryan closed the door and stood beside me, grinning like a fool. Bam sprinted down the hallway, his arms wide open, and his blue eyes glistening. My stomach fluttered with intensity as he made his way towards us. I braced myself for the biggest hug ever from the one and only person who made me happy. Bam ran towards Ryan, and leaped into his arms when I took a step forwards to get ready for a hug. I stared straight ahead. I no longer had butterflies in my stomach. All I had was emptiness. Then, a huge wave of sadness swept over me. I turned to Bam and Ryan, who were now talking. Bam's back faced me. I furrowed my brows, then felt my hands start to shake. 

"Why don't you say hi to Katie? I forgot something in the room." Ryan went back inside our room without another word. 

Bam faced me, his gestures towards me cold and distant. "Hey." he said aloofly. 

I blushed a bright red, then tried to calm myself. "H-hi." I stuttered. Damn! What the hell is wrong with you! Man up, and apologize!

 I opened my mouth to speak, but was left behind when he left me alone at the end of the hallway. He ran over to Steve and Chris, who started to laugh obstreperously. Feeling like someone kicked me in the stomach, I reminded myself, Oh, maybe he just wants to catch up with the guys. Maybe he forgot everything. But deep down, I knew he didn't. 

- - -

"Hi, my name's Johnny Knoxville, and welcome to our concert!" As the crowd cheered loudly, my insides were begging to scream out in pain. I sat backstage on a folding chair, the hard, cold aluminum chair giving me goosebumps. The stage was set in an inside stadium, therefore making it easier for me to hear the loud shouts and hollers of everyone. 

While waiting for the show to end after an hour of stunts and who knows what, I tried my best to think, but I just couldn't. Bam sure does hate me now. I pinched the bridge of my nose with my thumb and forefinger, trying to think, then puffed out my cheeks. I scooted my chair next to a plastic fold-out table. I sighed then sprawled my arms all over the table, still trying to think. Was it really my fault that Bam is angry? I remember what he said on the news... that I didn't care about him. I felt an agonizing electric bolt charge through my whole body. I tried to remember what had happened over the past few hours, but it all seemed so distant now. Bam's avoiding me started to creep into my inner thoughts, causing me to worry. I furrowed my brows, then rested my forehead on the cool, hard, plastic table. Mom. Please help me. I don't know what to do in a situation like this. Maybe I'm going to take the blame. I then remembered Steve-O's words flash back into my mind after having that long talk with him in the bathroom of our hotel. 

"I'm in love with you." Those five simple words at that right exact moment flashed into my mind. I  rocked my head side to side, then sat still for a moment, closed my eyes, and kept on thinking back to that time and place. Steve-O's words echoed in my mind. I thought about them for a minute, then emphasized on the word love. Then, an image of Steve and I getting married popped up into my head. I lifted my head up and laughed to myself while some guy working with the lights stared at me like I was a crazy maniac. I couldn't imagine Steve or I actually getting married or having kids. He was like my twin brother. My other half, basically. He's someone whom I could count on. But unfortunately, he thought of me as something more. Sighing, I buried my face in my hands. Then, out of the blue, I heard footsteps behind me, then a clash. I turned around to see Chris standing next to a big puddle of water, his eyes wide, his grimacing face stupid. I stared at the puddle, then at his grimacing facial expression. A wide smile appeared on my face, but disappeared when the rest of the crew came backstage from behind the cement wall. "Hey Katie! What, are you bored out of your mind?" Uncle Johnny asked as I stood from the chair.