I'm in Love with a Jackass

Chapter 4- Hide and Kiss

"Alright, here's the plan. We wake 'em up with air horns... and then..." uncle Johnny trailed off.

I scuffled to the fridge and took out a green pie that had probably belonged to the previous people who belonged in this apartment. I grinned evilly as they glared back at me. 

"You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?" I asked wickedly. 

- - -

A tired Chris held the camera as I tiptoed down the hallway, a nasty looking green pie cut into three pieces in my hands with both Dave and uncle Johnny following close behind me with air horns. 

We all grabbed a pie and an airhorn each, Chris filming the whole thing. Steve-O, Bam, and Ryan were sleeping face up, luckily for us. 

"Ladies first." Dave said. 

Snickering, I decided to pick Steve-O because he was the weirdest and craziest out of all of them. 

"Okay guys," I whispered and put the green slimy slice of pie in front of his face. Johnny and Dave followed along, Uncle Johnny with Ryan and Dave with Bam, "One, two, THREE!" 

We all pressed the buttons of our airhorns, causing the three sleeping men to wake up.. and run their faces into our disgusting, old, rotten, slimy pies! Steve-O jerked up into a sitting position and pretty much kind of ate the pie I was holding.

"Hahahaha! The bitches fell for it!" I exclaimed. We all burst out laughing. 

I fell backwards and fell on my bottom, still laughing. In the corner of Steve-O's mouth, a big chunk of the nasty pie stuck there. 

"What the fuck?!" Steve-O hollered. 

"Knoxville! Seriously?!" Ryan howled. 

"You motherfuckin' bitch! You guys are gunna pay for this..." Bam shrieked.

"Hey, hey, hey! It was all Katie..." Uncle Johnny explained. 

"H-hey!" I stuttered, "You're supposed to back me up! You're my uncle!" 

Before my Uncle could retort, Bam and Steve-O were already up, growling in anger. Ryan just got up, cake shoved and tangled all over his beard. I was actually surprised that he wasn't even the teeniest bit angry at me.

"Dude, how are you not mad?!" Bam complained. 

"Eh... I'll get her back some day..." he replied and smirked. I could already see that he had a plan in mind. 

In the meantime, I had to run away from these raging men, now probably wanting to rip my head off for thinking of the idea to shove a two year old cake in their mouth. 

Wide eyed, I took off running down the corridor, down the stairs, and out of my apartment building. I heard hollering and cussing behind me. I ran even faster, turned a corner and hid behind a bush. 

"Come out, come out where ever you are..." Steve-O coaxed nearby. 

I was breathing hard. I couldn't get my heart rate to go down. Bam turned the corner where I was and stood in front of the bush along with Steve-O. 

"Okay man. Let's make a bet." Bam stated.

"Kay then. How much if one of us finds her first?" Steve-O replied. I could tell he was smirking by the way he spoke. 

"Whoever finds Kit-Kat first gets to kiss her." Bam replied.

My heart skipped a beat about a million beats. A kiss?! I wasn't even out of high school yet and these twenty- something year old guys wanna kiss me?! I started freaking out. 

I felt my face go red, my blood boiling. A kiss. From either Bam or Steve-O. Gosh. I didn't know whether or not this was a dream or a nightmare. 

I just sat there, paralyzed. My mind was frozen. 

"Deal. But rules are just a kiss on the cheek."

"Fine." I heard Bam mumble.

I heard Steve-O and Bam shake hands as they both split up to find me. 

Just on the cheek? I was relieved. I wouldn't mind just a kiss on the cheek. Although, I was slightly disappointed with the rules.

I heard Steve-O go right and Bam left. After the sounds of their footsteps were completely gone, I briskly crawled out of the bushes and took a sharp turn, now ending up at apartment B. 

There, I saw a guy with a skateboard. He was nearing me. Was it Bam? 

Nope. This guy was shirtless. Steve-O? Nope. He didn't have a tattoo on him. 

He looked so young. Around sixteen or seventeen. He stopped and picked up his skateboard. 

"You new here?" he asked.

"Umm... yeah." I said, trying to hurry and get out of this conversation before Steve-O or Bam found me. 

Suddenly, out of the blue, I heard footsteps approaching us... fast.

"No way!" the boy exclaimed, "Steve-O from Jackass!" 

I turned around and ran for my life. Steve-O was right on my tail when Bam jumped out of nowhere and instead of landing on me landed on Steve-O instead, causing them to get all tangled up. 

I breathed a sigh of relief and turned another corner. An old asian man walked by and greeted me hello. I waved and smiled as I kept running. I stopped in another part of the apartment complex, bent over and breathing for air. 

I was tired of playing this game... literally, so I walked around the complex, trying to find my apartment. It was getting dark and I couldn't see anything at all.

"Fuck. Today is just my day today, isn't it?" I mumbled under my breath. 

I bumped into a chest and my heart skipped a beat. 

"Yes! I guess I win this one this time." I heard a voice say.