Just tell me (Phan AU)

Neon Cathedral

A/N: I'm not sure if the song will work but if it doesn't, look up Neon Cathedral by Macklemore X Ryan Lewis. It's really suitable for Dan.
Ps. Please don't hate me after reading this...

PHIL POV

A whole month... He had been gone for a whole month. I couldn't deny that was still heartbroken, but thanks to my friends, it was getting easier. I can't imagine how hard it would be to get through the days without people like Chris and Pj.
They kept their PDA to a minimum when I was around- so that I didn't get upset, I suppose. They thought I didn't notice the occasional glances, the often interlocked fingers or the regular touches. It made me laugh that they think it will upset me. Their relationship gave me hope that love actually does exist.
Love. The idea was always fascinating to me. The thought of giving your all to somebody and trusting them with your heart seemed quite extreme. When you give away everything you have to somebody and then they leave, they still take what you have given them. Dan took every part of me, but I was getting it back piece by piece with the help of my two best friends.

DAN POV

They say that when you go through a break up, you should surround yourself with people you love. This is exactly what I did. I found myself being cared for by my two best friends, Depression and Tequila. You may think they're a dangerous combination, but they were there for me whenever I needed them. They were always there.
If I'm honest, they were in no way helping me to get over Phil, but that's because I didn't want to. I still loved him and missed him more than you could ever imagine. There wasn't a second of time that I wasn't extremely sad, but I suppose being blue is better than being over it.

PHIL POV
This particular day was nothing extraordinary. Around midday, Chris and Pj took me to the cinema to see Age of Ultron. I felt bad at first, because Dan and I were planning to go together and neither of us could wait to see it. After a while, I realised that there was no point in feeling bad because he had done a lot worse to be.
I did feel kind of awkward though. From the moment the lights went down, Chris and Pj were snuggled up against each other. It made me feel a bit like a third wheel but I ignored the feeling. I couldn't help but laugh at the memories I had with Dan in the cinema while the trailers were playing. He always but his hands up to his ears and shut his eyes tightly so that he didn't get any spoilers for other movies.
In that moment I admitted it to myself. I missed him so much.

DAN POV

Nothing exciting happened on this particular day. I got up at midday as always and had a shower. I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror.
I was extremely pale and causally looked as though I could blend into the white tiles behind me. The bags under my eyes were so dark that they made it look like I had been punched in both eyes. I could barely recognise myself.
After my shower, I decided that I needed some quality time with my two friends.
That night, as I walked into the club, I realised just how alone I was and needed to forget that. I needed Phil. I missed him so much.

PHIL POV

The Avengers was even better than I could've imagined. A few minutes into the movie, I completely forgot about Dan. My awkwardness around Chris and Pj melted away and they included me if they were making jokes about what plot or actors. I was the happiest I had been since my relationship ended so abruptly.

When we walked out of the cinema, we decided that it'd be a good idea to go out for dinner together. We strolled to the closest restaurant we could find. I wasn't that hungry, but I didn't want to go home to that lonely apartment just yet. My meal wasn't that memorable which is why I don't even know what I ate.
It was ten o'clock before I got home. I didn't want to be there because it just reminded me of the day he left.
I went for a quick shower and put on my pyjamas before falling asleep on the couch watching Death Note.

DAN POV

What time is it now? I don't care. The tequila was starting to go to my brain. The room was spinning violently around me. I was surrounded by people dancing. They were probably going at a normal pace, but to me they were buzzing around me like fireflies under the ever-flashing lights above our heads.
The more I drank, the more I lost control of myself. I danced- well, swayed lazily- with everybody and anybody who would give me the time. I must've looked extremely sloppy, but at the time I didn't care. I was just surprised that I could still stand. My legs, however, had a mind of their own. They decided that it would be a good idea to take me down a familiar path that I had once known.

PHIL POV

I was woken abruptly by a loud knocking on my front door. I reached for my phone to check the time. By the time that my eyes adjusted, I saw that it was a quarter to three in the morning. My heart began to beat out of my chest, scared of who was at my front door at this time.
I sat in silence, barely breathing for fear that the the person outside would hear me. I knew that they wouldn't, but I still worried about it. After what seemed like an eternity, the knocking returned, this time followed by a familiar voice.

DAN POV

"Phil?" I shouted after knocking on the door. I tried to put my ear against the door to see if I could hear any moment inside, but instead, I hit my head against the wood and pulled away quickly, giggling at my own stupidity. I tried again, but this time the door opened just as I was about to put my weight on it. I stumbled for a second, before falling onto the person who opened the door.

PHIL POV

I thanked my unusually fast reflexes as the slightly taller man fell into my arms. If I had not caught him, we both would've been on the floor. It wasn't long before Dan opened his mouth to speak and I was confronted by the smell of stale alcohol on his breath and I knew exactly why he was here. He was too drunk to care.

"Thanks, babe!" He giggled, slurring his words.

"Dan what are you doing here?" I asked, annoyed by his words. I straightened him up so he wasn't leaning on me anymore and was standing by himself.

"Aww aren't you happy to see me baby?" is what I think he said, but he was slurring too much for me to fully understand him.

"You're drunk." I stated.

His high pitched "iconic laugh" echoed through the living room. "Reeeeally?" He asked sarcastically.

"Dan I think you should leave." I was trying to hold back the tears in my eyes. It took everything I had not to take him back right then and there.

"But I looooooove yoooooooou Philly!" He leant in and tried to kiss me, but I backed away and he laughed harder than before. He reminded me of one of the hyenas from The Lion King.

"Dan, leave." I spoke sternly, hoping that he'd get the point.

"Fine then, buzzkill." He turned towards the stairs.

DAN POV

"Fine then, buzzkill." I said before walking to the stairs. By this time, I had started to feel really sick and decided that it was best to leave before I hydro-pumped all over Phil. As I walked, I swayed from side to side. I tried to walk in a straight line but I just couldn't.
When I reached the stairs, I turned to Phil before dramatically blowing him a kiss and laughing loudly. He wasn't impressed. I turned around again to walk down the stairs. This wasn't going to be easy and I knew it. I looked down at my foot as I lifted it, but my vision was too blurry to plan where I would put it. I don't know if I ever made that first step because before I could place my foot down, everything went black around me.

PHIL POV

"DAN!"

A/N: oooooooh cliffhanger. I'm not even going to apologise for this being a day late. Procrastination.

Seriously though, this chapter is one big reference. I've referenced Macklemore, Dan himself, The Lion King, Wizards of Waverly Place (lOL YOU'LL PROBABLY NEVER KNOW WHERE), and Panic! At The Disco.