Just tell me (Phan AU)

Trade All My Tomorrows for Just One Yesterday

DAN POV

It had been a week since I'd gotten out of the hospital. Life was back to normal, but the thoughts of the perfect months before my.... departure still lingered in the back of my mind, toying with my emotions. I felt a firm pair of hands on my back, pushing me forward towards Phil, and needing me to hold him close.

Of course, I couldn't move forward with Phil. I had given all of that up over something as stupid as what others think about me. I was paying the price, even if it was hefty.
Actually, hefty wouldn't be the word. I think torturous better describes the predicament I had gotten myself into.

I felt like a child who has their favourite toy close to them at all times. As they get older, people criticise them for having that toy, saying that they shouldn't. As much and all as the child loves their toy, they think too much about what the people around them think and for it up, thinking it's better that way. When they realise that they need the toy and look for it again, it's too late. Their parents have already given it away or thrown it out.
Phil was the toy. I knew that I needed him, but couldn't have him under any circumstance. That broke my heart even more than anything else, and I thought that it was beyond repair at this point.

PHIL POV

I was sitting on the couch with Dan, about eight days since he had gotten home.  We were watching Fairy Tail for the hundredth time when he turned the high volume down.
"Phil?" He asked.

"What's wrong?" I replied, not knowing what was going to happen. A large part of me was hoping that he'd bring up our relationship and ask if we would ever get back together. Of course, he didn't ask.
"Do you want to go for a walk?" A wave of disappointment traveled through my body, but I decided to joke it off.

"Daniel Howell what has happened to you?" I questioned.

"What do you mean?" He asked. God he's cute when he's confused. PHIL. STOP.

"Well," I smirked. "I think you're sick. You want to go outside?! You want go leave the apartment? Wow. I think the hospital mixed Dan up with somebody who just looks like him. We'll have to bring you back!"

"Phil I'm serious." He chuckled. "I actually want to go outside so we may as well take advantage of this feeling while it lasts."

"Hurry up and get your coat then."

***

DAN POV

Phil and I decided to for a walk in the park near our apartment. It wasn't a long distance, but it was what we needed. As we walked, we chatted. As we chatted, we laughed together.  It was just like old times. It was great to get to know each other again without the awkwardness of our former relationship and the distraction that it had left behind. I don't know what came over me to any to do exercise of all things, but as I walked around that park with Phil I knew it was exactly what I had needed and that things couldn't have been better in that moment. Life isn't that easy though. There was no way for us to fully escape our emotions.

As we walked along, I felt myself inching closer and closer to my friend. I could've sworn he was doing the same. Our legs moved at the same pace, perfectly in sync. Left right left right.
Our arms swung gently as we moved along the pavement beneath our feet. The closeness of our bodies combined with the the swinging of our arms is what caused what I imagined to be a problem, initially.

Our hands collided, softly brushing against each other. I pulled away, embarrassed. I felt my cheeks heat up with the blush they now wore. I dipped my head, hoping Phil wouldn't notice my awkwardness. I heard a soft chuckle beside me. It caused me to lift my head up, curiosity sweeping over me.

"What?" I asked Phil, confused.

"I just find it funny." He replied giggling.

I furrowed my eyebrows. "I'm not following."

"Dan, we have been best friends for six years. We even dated for a while, but you still go all red when you literally just touch my hand lightly. It's kind of adorable."

My eyes widened. Adorable? Apparently the hand thing wasn't that much of a problem then....

PHIL POV

ADORABLE?! OH MY GOD, PHIL. NOW EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE AWKWARD AGAIN.

I kept my eyes focused on the path in front of me. I chose not to say anything, hoping Dan didn't notice what I said. Who was I kidding, though? I just called my best friend and ex- boyfriend adorable. Of course he'd notice.
I heard Dan clear his throat beside me.
"Maybe we should start to walk back now. It's close enough to dinner time." He suggested.
I was glad that he didn't question my slip-of-the-tongue but on the other hand I wished he'd mention it so that I could tell him how much I missed holding him close every night, playing with his hair as his head rested on my lap while we watched anime, or when he would tell me how much he loved me. Hell, I even missed the cheesy pet names.
As we walked at a quicker pace back home, my vision was blurry. I was feeling nostalgic for the times when I was Dan's and Dan was mine. I knew that me forgiving Dan completely would be frowned upon, but to be honest, I didn't care. Nobody could stop my feelings for this man and if I wanted to act on those emotions, I would.

It was then and there that I decided one thing; I was going to get my Dan back no matter what.

A/N: I AM SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING FOR AGES OH MY GOD! I'd say it won't happen again, but that's probably not true. I'm sorry for how crappy and short this chapter is as well.
Anyway, I fear this story is coming to an end. I said all along that it would be 20 chapters. This is chapter 16. I'll do an epilogue as well so technically it'll be 21 (or 22 if I'm feeling generous) in the end.