Sticky Note Girl (Brittana Glee Fic)

Being Strangers

BRITTANY

My head aches. I can't do this. I can't even think of a nice design that could impress Santana. The mere presence of her back in my life again makes me feel queasy. I still don't know how to handle her. I'm still bothered by her sudden appearance. I'm still... Ugh! I don't know! She makes me feel again; this heartache, this pain, this joy upon seeing her, oh my god! I am a complete mess.I honestly don't know what to do. I thought that was the last time I'm going to see her, but I'm wrong. Who would have thought that she will be my boss for this project? I certainly didn't expect that to happened. Now I have to do this. I need this. I just have to be strong in front of her. I just have to build my walls up. Again.

"Are you working late again?"

The sound of Emily's voice made me turn around.

I smile at her weakly. "I have to. I need to show this to Santana tomorrow."

Emily smiles at me. She walks towards me and places her hands on my shoulders. "Are you nervous because it's Santana?" she softly asks.

I shake my head. "No. It's not that." I deny. I don't want to show Emily that I'm still vulnerable when it comes to Santana.

Emily takes a deep breath. "Brittany... you don't have to lie to me."

I smile weakly. "I just want this to be over. Then I can finally move on."

Emily cupped my cheeks and force me to face her. Her eyes searching deep into my soul. "You know that I love you, right?"

I nod my head. I already knew Emily's feelings for me, but I haven't reciprocated it yet. For two years, she has always been there for me. But...

"And I know that you don't love me as much as I love you." Emily continues, flashes of hurt filled her eyes.

"Em..." I croak. "That's not true. I've... love you." I said sincerely.

She smiles weakly, "Yeah. But you're not in love with me." she corrects instantly.

I look away. I can't bear to see the hurt in her eyes anymore. What is wrong with me? Emily is so nice to me. She took care of me. She gave me strength to live my life again. Why can't I love her the same way I loved Santana? Why?

"Brittany. Look at me." she requests.

My eyes found hers again.

"You have to do this. You have to show her that you can do this project without being intimidated by her. Just think of her as an ordinary boss. Act professionally in front of her. You can do it, Brittany. You are different now. You are no longer the sticky note girl she used to know." she said softly but with conviction.

I found myself nodding in every words she said.

"I'll always be here for you, no matter what." she continues as she touches my hand and squeezes it, "Brittany..."

I look at her intently again.

"Can I just... uhm... kiss you?" she asks, there is uneasiness in her voice. "I won't be able to forgive myself if I haven't kiss you right of this moment when I finally get a chance." She close her eyes and lean into me.

I close my eyes, waiting for her lips to press against mine. Maybe I need this. Maybe I should give Emily a chance. Maybe...

Her lips are warm and soft. She sucks on my bottom lip softly and I parted my lips. She continues sucking my bottom lip then goes straight to my upper lip. She kisses me very gently like she is afraid to kiss me hard.

I respond softly.

But I have to admit, I didn't feel any butterflies inside my stomach. Damn this butterflies, where are they when I need them?