𝐂𝐚𝐬𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐎𝐟 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐋𝐮𝐬𝐭

Desperate Times, Desperate Measures

Nia sat on the footrest at the bottom of her bed as Marcus packed his duffle. Another away game. Another business trip that she knew would include one of the women from his curated list of hoe's in different area codes. Across the hall the muffled sounds of a football game blared from their son's room. Cross was already starting to become the mirror image of his father. He had been working out more each day and was starting to develop his father's broad shoulders, quick feet and a jersey that seemed to never come off.

" Did those cleats arrive yet that I ordered for, Cross? They should be here by now so he can wear them to practice tomorrow"

" In his bag already. They were delivered yesterday" Nia said, her voice tight with the realization that her husband spends more time in hotel suites than his own home. Hearing the tone in her voice caused Marcus to pause. His hand hovered over a pair of slacks he had been packing. He turned to her and noticed cold distant eyes looking back at him.

" Nia, don't" He warned. " We have an understanding. It's just the lifestyle and it keeps things..." Marcus paused while he searched his head for the word he was looking for. " Balanced" He finished with a slight shrug of the shoulders.

" Balanced for who?" She said, stepping towards him. The resentment she had been bottling for years had finally cracked the surface.

" I'm the one balancing the PTA meetings, practices, and loneliness. I'm sick of being the 'MVP wife' while you run around with your whores, Marcus."

He turned to her. His face hardened turning into that same stoic expression he always wore during press conferences. That's what their lives had become. Everything between them felt like an act. A show to put on for the family, their friends, the cameras and sadly their own son. It was exhausting. At this point Nia wondered why he kept her around.

" It ain't about them. These bitches are just noise. You're the foundation. You're who I come home to."

" I prefer to be the person you respect, rather than just the one you return to" She said coldly.

" I've never disrespected you. This is something we both agreed to"

" I was young then. I expect more now. We're married. We have a son"

" I know, Nia did you forget I helped create him?" He said sarcastically.

" Why do you need them? What do they do for you that I can't? Is it the way they look at you like a God? Because I see the man who forgets to take out the trash. I have given you commitment, my body, and a son who worships the ground you walk on. I've remained faithful and never stepped outside of this marriage. What else is left for them to take?" Nia shouted, referring to the business he loved so much.

His eyes jolted towards the door before looking back at her angrily. His son was down the hall in the next room entertaining guests. He didn't want any of them to overhear their conversation. His son never knew about their agreement and he planned on keeping it that way. According to him, Nia and Marcus maintained a normal happily married life.Their son, Cross couldn't have been further from the truth. Were they happy? Yes, at times. Were they normal? Abso-fucking-lutely not. There was nothing normal about a woman allowing her husband to sleep with other women out on the road if he chose to.

" Yo, you need to calm down," He warned in a hushed tone. The desperation clawed at her throat. She didn't just want an answer, she wanted to see the ghost she had been silently competing against.

" You say it's nothing? That they're just noise? Then prove it. If it's so meaningless, let me see." She said, her eyes bright with unshed tears.

" Nia, stop. You're being irrational and you're about to have everyone in the next room in our business." He whispered through clenched teeth.

" Am I?" she said, voice trembling. "Take me with you. Not as your wife. Not as the woman on your arm. I want to be a fucking fly on the wall. Put me in the corner of the room. Let me watch you with her. I want to see the moment your eyes change. I want to see exactly what she gives you that makes it worth breaking my heart every time you board that plane."

Marcus stared at her, genuinely shaken for the first time in their marriage. A shadow of their son appeared in their doorway. He was clutching a football, shifting it back and forth in his hand until he witnessed the look in his mothers eyes. The ball in his hand instantly stopped moving as he sensed the shift in the atmosphere.

" Dad?" He asked in a small voice. Marcus looked at his son then back at his wife, the woman who was offering to destroy her soul just to understand him. He felt like shit. Marcus could no longer look at him. He averted his eyes towards the floor. Cross shifted his focus back on his mother as he stared with confusion.

" Maybe you should ask your friends to come back another day, baby. It's just not a good time right now." Nia finally spoke up. Cross dropped his head as sadness took over him.

" Okayyy" He said, sighing deeply before trudging away.

" You see what you did?" Marcus said, pointing towards the door.

" He'll be fine. Are we doing this or what?" She asked.

" Man, hell nah." He answered as he finished packing. Nia was right on his heels again soon afterwards.