𝐂𝐚𝐬𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐎𝐟 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐋𝐮𝐬𝐭

Cycles Broken, Promises Made

For weeks Tyrone had been tracking the shifts in the bedroom like a man watching the weather turn. It was in the way she gently pushed him while they made love. Her sharp involuntary breaths. The tension in her body that she tried to mask with forced smiles. The way that she would sleep the day away and still wake up exhausted or the times he's come home and caught her in the bathroom with the door locked and heard muffled sounds of her dry heaving bounced off the walls. Every time he asked about her recent behavior, there was a different excuse. He didn't believe her anymore. Truth be told, he never did.

He got out of the car and jogged up the steps, carrying the small brown paper bag. Once he was inside the house he quickly found Destiny sitting on the couch deeply engulfed in one of her shows. He walked right up and snatched the remote off the table in front of her and turned the television off.

" Damn, bae. I was watching that!" She exclaimed.

Tyrone ignored her response and tossed her the bag. She looked up at him confusedly before opening it to see what was inside. When she saw the white box her heart dropped. She paused for a second before her eyes jolted in his direction as she stared up at him bewildered.

" Go take it," He said. His voice was flat and dangerously quiet as he nodded towards the bathroom. The room grew silent as Destiny sat there motionless.

" You think I haven't noticed the way you've been acting lately? The way you ran to the bathroom a few days ago after we just finished fucking, looking like you were expecting to see blood or something on the tissue?" he paused "I know you, Destiny. I know your body and I know when something ain't right. Now go take the test'' He demanded.

Her eyes shifted from him to the box in her hand. A heavy suffocating silence stretched between them. She let out a ragged breath, closing her eyes tightly.

" I don't need to take this. I'm pregnant" she said, her voice barely audible." Tyrone shook his head. He had already suspected that she could be pregnant; he was more shocked that she would lie about it. He couldn't bring himself to understand why she would do something like that.

" I had a strong feeling that you were, which is why I bought you the test. What I didn't know was that you would come right out and confess. I ain't gonna lie, you just fucked me up with that. It's the trust thing for me. What's eating me up right now is that you knew and didn't say shit. How long have you known?" He asked. Destiny shrugged.

" I don't know, maybe a few weeks from now."

Tyrone scoffed.

" There were times when I asked if you were good. You had plenty of opportunities to tell me the truth but you kept this from me for two whole weeks? We're supposed to be a team, Destiny. If you can't come to me about something this massive, something that literally changes everything for both of us, it makes me wonder what else you feel like you have to hide from me"

That's when it hit him. Women were usually quick to tell a nigga they had a baby on the way. He only knew of two reasons why a woman would keep something like that to herself. The first reason was if the baby wasn't his. The second reason was if she hadn't planned on keeping it. He knew it wasn't reason number one so his thoughts immediately landed on option number two. The confirmation hit him like a physical blow.

" You were gonna kill my baby?" he asked in disbelief

" No... I mean I don't know what I'm going to do." She stammered.

" The fuck you mean you don't know? that's my blood. That's our seed. You were gonna just erase it without even giving me a say?"

" Tye, look at us. Look at how we're living" She motioned around the room with her arms stretched out wide. "Neither one of us are a product of good homes. We both grew up in emotional disaster zones. On top of that we just got back from a trip with our luggage full of drugs. There's a safe in the back filled with dirty money and guns stashed all over the place like you're preparing for a war or something. You think that's safe? You really think we're cut out to be someone's parents?" She exclaimed. Tyrone sighed deeply before moving closer and sitting down on the sofa next to her. His defeat was evident in his posture as he rested his head in his hands.

" I wasn't expecting you to care this much. I didn't even know you wanted kids. You never mentioned it to me" she continued. He sat up and looked at her.

" Destiny, look at me because I really need you to hear me on this." He said seriously. She adjusted her body slightly so that they could see one another face to face.

" You know fragments of my life but you don't know everything and you didn't have to live it. Growing up I didn't have a blueprint for what a family was supposed to look like. My early years were unstable, filled with nothing but neglect and hurt. I was taken in by another family and I'm grateful for them throwing me a lifeline but if I'm being completely honest with you, there was still an emptiness that came with the thought of not truly being one of them. I spent my whole life feeling like an outcast. I never had a legacy to carry forward because my roots were cut before they could grow. This baby is our chance to start fresh and do shit the right way" He said. Destiny had tears in her eyes. He used his thumb to swipe away the lone tear that began trickling down her cheek.

" I know you're scared right now. Honestly I am too. We both spent years witnessing mistakes from the people who raised us. By now we should know exactly what not to do. I wanna build a home where my kids never have to wonder if they belong."

" I hear you but what about that other thing?" she asked, referring to his lifestyle and growing underworld operation. She couldn't raise a baby around that. She needed reassurance that they'll both be safe.

" Having a family means I'll have to move differently now. I know the risk, the chaos, and the shit that keeps you up at night. i'll be extra careful from now on, "he said convincingly.

It didn't take long for her to reach a decision. He had already sold her on the idea once he started talking about how he felt growing up. She wasn't abandoned by her mother, or taken in by a different family but she still understood where he was coming from. Her mother's behavior at times made her feel like an outsider. Angela didn't treat her like a daughter. She treated Destiny like she was the other woman that she had to compete against for men's attention. Destiny found herself wondering whether her mother ever really loved her. She knew that feeling of neglect and longing for parental affection all too well.

His words had touched her. She couldn't believe she was actually considering being somebody's fine ass mama but there she was. She was already picturing herself pushing a custom made stroller, with a luxury brand diaper bag, wearing matching outfits with her mini me. The world wouldn't be ready for her nesting era. Destiny was about to make pregnancy look better than RiRi did. She didn't mind elevating her status from bad bitch to milf. She knew their baby would have the most elite genetics because from the looks of her and Tyrone, good genes ran on both sides of the family.

"Tye, having children is tough. I have a cousin with twins and a homegirl with a pre-teen. So, I know a little something about parenting. It's a lot of silent sacrifices. It's staying up late nights because your kid is sick. It's running on pure adrenaline and coffee the next day because you didn't get any sleep the night before. It's giving up your personal time and comfort to make sure your child is cared for. It puts their wants and needs above your own. Are you ready for all of that with everything you've got going on?"

" Yeah" he shrugged. " If some shit has to come second to make sure our baby is covered, that's the easiest choice I'll ever make" He replied sincerely.

" Okay.... but if we're really doing this we're gonna need a bigger place and if you don't make it back home to help me change diapers i'll find a way to kill you in the next life" She said only half joking. Tyrone chuckled as he raised his left hand, exposing the ink on his ring finger.

" Damn, I thought the ink said 'till death', not till death, then I'll find you and kill you in the afterlife. I guess that means we are locked in for eternity. Don't worry I ain't going nowhere. The next life sounds way too violent. I'm staying alive" He said, causing Destiny to holler with laughter.