A.N.O.R.E.X.I.A [BxB]

 Dear Toby,

                I am writing to you because you are the person I love most in this world. And that seems weird because I have never even spoken to you, and you don't really know that I exist. I think that maybe one day if I got to speak to you we could be good friends. Of course, this is not certainty, as I doubt I will ever have the ability to speak to you first and, also, I know nothing about you. I just saw your face today and made up a story.

 I wonder if it's weird that I have made up your background  for you. It seems to be something unconventional, but I have trouble differentiating between what's acceptable and what isn't. I don't know why. Sometimes I think that I was born like this, that everyone else was created in whatever way you believe with some kind of knowledge that I must learn instead. Other times I just add it to the list of things that are wrong with me. And I don't know if it is fair or not, but I have to deal with that.

 At the moment I think that the weirdest part about all this is that I don't even know your last name. You're just "Toby" to me. You don't really exist. You're just a first name and an image, everything else about you was born from my mind. I don't believe in love at first sight, but with you things are different, and that's because you're not real. I will probably read this letter through tomorrow and wonder what I was thinking about when I put down these words, and I will know that I was thinking about you and listening to music without really feeling anything. I find that if you numb yourself as you write you can say things without fear of them coming out wrong. Because you didn't have a plan. So you can go with it.

 I was thinking for a long time before I started writing this letter. I was wondering why I only chose today to fall in love with you. We've been going to school together for years now. And I don't know your last name. And I don't know anything about you.

 Actually, I've known you were gay for a couple of years now. I hope that's okay. It's just another thing that I know about you. At least that's something we have in common. At least, I think it is. I seem to be able to find attractive qualities in anyone, really. Everyone tells me that I'm gay, anyway. But I think they say that insultingly. I'm not sure, though, because sexualities aren't insults, right?

 I'm starting to think that this may be too bold a topic for a first letter. I apologise if you think so. Not that there's even a chance you will ever read this. We'll see.

 I'm going to stop writing now in case I have offended you. And to stop the risk of offending you again. But I think that I will write again soon. Because if we do become friends and one day want to tell people our stories, it will be good for you to see things from my perspective.

Love,

                Jack.