A.N.O.R.E.X.I.A [BxB]

Fifteen.

 Dear Toby,

                I still can’t actually believe that we write to each other. I can’t believe that you would bother to read my letters just once, let alone three times and respond. It’s crazy. But then, I guess, we’re crazy, right?

 I still don’t quite see how you are crazy. I know that I am. I didn’t really know, and I often don’t believe it, but there has to be a reason why I’ve never had friends, right? And that must be it, right?

 I too am very much in love with these secret rendezvous we have been having. And I know that the thrill very much comes from the fact that I have been meeting with you. Even if I was normal, I still wouldn’t make the grade to hang out with someone like you- someone popular. But, then again, you’re not at all the kind of person a popular kid is. You’re not like someone in the movies. And I think that is why you’re so intriguing and surprising to me. And whilst I can tell that Thea must also be- for lack of a better word- different, which is obvious because she is a true friend of yours, she’s just not you. I didn’t look at Thea and make up a story. But I saw that in you.

 As I am going round your house on Saturday, I have decided to go running every day leading up to it. I’m not sure why I have made this decision, but I’ve been rather concerned with my looks recently. I don’t know where this sudden rush of vanity has come from. Maybe if I run I will figure it out. I hope it’s okay to tell you that, and that you won’t think I am trying too hard. I don’t want you to think that I am desperate- especially when I don’t even know what I am desperate for.

 I understand that you wish to keep me a secret from your father. I hope maybe you will soon tell me why this is. And I hope that you don’t mind too greatly that I told my sister about you. She’s probably told my parents by now. I didn’t tell her that we have kissed; that didn’t seem appropriate. I just told her that I had made an acquaintance. I hope that’s okay.

                Love,
                Jack.