Maybe We Should Go Back

Believe me or not, but it actually worked

I got my second observation (and last one of the school year) yesterday and it went great. I even got the highest score possible in one category. It made me feel so much better, but I did something that may have been at play...

A few weeks ago I took three bay leaves, wrote what I wanted from the school/administrators on each one, and then burned each one while focusing on grounding, gathering my energy and repeating my intentions. I have never done a spell before but have always felt attracted to witchcraft in some way since I was a pre-teen. I used to be completely horrified by the idea as a Christian, but now... not so much.

I guess this isn't the first time I've done energy work though. Shortly after Ethan was born I tried something I saw on a witchcraft YouTube channel to see if I could share energy with the earth. I did exactly what the video suggested: grounding myself and then imagining putting a bit of my energy into the ground and then pulling some into me from the earth. To test it I grabbed a seed off the ground, and it started to buzz in my hand. Like, vibrate. Thinking I was imagining it, I put it in my other hand. It was still vibrating. Was a bug inside? I tried it with another seed. Same thing. Then another. Same thing. I did it about five times in a row with different seeds. That experience opened a lot of new perspectives for me, and that's why I wanted to try this. I knew I had done my best at my job, but things were just not working out in my favor, and I want to be treated like everyone else here. I wanted to be seen for the hard work I do every day and acknowledged for the huge efforts I have poured into my job this year. It freaking worked. I'm elated. I also put a bay leaf in my classroom with the scores I wanted on it and hid it behind a poster to fill the room with that intention.

I would like to believe I achieved these scores on my own merit, but the way I've been treated since I started working here makes me think it had more to do with the ritual. My experience here has not been very fair for a lot of reasons. Don't want to get into each one right now, but there's been a lot of bad luck in general and feeling like I've been looked down upon. The problem is I love it here and would rather die than go back to a school like the last one I worked at, where I was assaulted while pregnant and the school did literally nothing about it. I don't want to be in fear and constant stress, dealing with actual PTSD during the summers. Working here has been a dream. I can't risk losing that. Also now my kid is going here and I truly believe it's the best (free) education he can get right now in 2026. Ethan has grown leaps and bounds and is reading whole books now. If I lose my job though, he loses his place here. Talk about pressure. I've seen the public schools. Correction: I've seen many of them. They are cesspools of violence, disruptive kids, teachers too overwhelmed with behaviors to actually teach, and lack of consequences for everything from academics to behavior. I can't put him in that environment while the government works to shut down the educational system in every way. It's only going to get worse from here until we can undo the mess Trump has made, which will likely take a couple of generations.

I don't know, guys. What do you think about all this? Do you think it worked or that I've somehow magically lived up to their lofty expectations through my own efforts?