Maybe We Should Go Back

VeilofPetals is marked safe from the Rapture 2025

So my mom calls me the other day.

"Jesus is coming back on the 23rd! Well, maybe the 24th. Either one!" she tells me excitedly.

It's a sign of how ridiculous my upbringing was that this didn't even phase me.

"Okay, cool! Happy for you!" I replied.

Hey, with all of these MAGA types gone we could actually make some real fucking changes for the betterment of this country, FINALLY. Don't threaten my ass with a good time! Somebody grab Trump and take him with y'all too 'cause we don't need him. There's no way his sin-seeking ass would get raptured, so one of y'all is responsible for scooping him up. Buh bye!

My mom predicts the rapture on a regular basis, so I was shocked when I saw a bunch of other people believing it too! All over YouTube and TikTok and wherever else people gather digitally. In fact people sold houses and cars, left jobs, even put their KIDS into DCF care (which honestly might be better for them anyway since their parents obviously lack the judgment and bare-minimum critical thinking skills needed to be a parent).

At first I thought this was just another example of how stupid Americans have become (and that's certainly part of it), but on one of these videos this girl was saying how happy she was to be raptured because, "Everything sucks so much right now." Yes, friend, indeed it does. That's when it hit me: we are so at the end of our fucking ropes in this country trying to buy groceries that have tripled in price in just 3 years that people are collectively losing their minds. This is a nation-wide nervous breakdown. This is what it looks like. Mass religious psychosis brought on (at least partly) by extreme and unrelenting stress (not just financial) for years on end. Since Obama left office, guys, life has gone down the shitter and no matter what your politics are, you gotta agree with that at least. The last time things were good was 2015. This is scary. These people hold power. A lot of it. It's not getting any better. Never forget that.

This one girl who was making fun of the rapture people said, "I think we all died during Covid in 2020 and this is hell." I agree.

You know what I wish all these Christian MAGA types would do? Read their Bible. Did you know it says in there that "no one" (including you, Karen from TikTok!) knows the day OR the hour that Jesus supposedly returns. Even Jesus doesn't know! It literally says it. Why are none of y'all reading your book? Too busy forcing it into the public schools I suppose...