Struggles (Book One)

The Meadow~

 

Daehyun’s POV:

I packed up some stuff in my bag. I thought about the most typical ways to kill myself. I wrapped a knife from the kitchen, a bottle of pills from the bathroom cabinet, and a gun I found in Yongguk’s room once into a blanket. He never came looking for that gun, not that I know of. I stuffed the blanket into a bag I had laying around for when we left for concerts. I grabbed a piece of paper from one of my drawers and wrote a note to B.A.P.

“Daehyun, don’t do this. It is stupid to kill yourself over me.” I froze as I heard her voice behind me. I turned around to see Deonne standing in my room.

“Deonne? You came back?” The tears I had tried so hard to hold back before began to fall down my cheeks.

“Daehyun, this is really stupid of you. You are way better than this.” I nodded and walked closer to her. She didn’t move towards me. I went to wrap my arms around her and felt nothing. I looked up as she disappeared from my sight. I started to cry. She was right; I was stupid, stupid for ever thinking she would come back to someone like me.

I grabbed the bag from the floor and opened the door to my room to find her there again. I was about to get excited, but before I did I walked forward going right through her. Another hallucination. My heart was breaking even more with these images of her.

I got my keys out of my pocket as I left the dorm and got into my car. I drove in silence, not even bothering to turn on the radio. I thought of all our times together, before and during our relationship. We had so much fun with one another, or so I thought. I remember our first date.

It was behind Deonne’s old house, the one that burnt down. She had picked that spot, because behind her house was a forest and deep in that forest was the most beautiful meadow I’d ever seen. That’s where I was going to kill myself. She even asked me that day; if my life were to end, where would I want it to end and I said right there in that meadow. Maybe the beauty of it will drown out my misery. Ironic isn’t it?

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Deonne’s POV:

I didn’t want to wait for anyone, but I couldn’t legally drive in Korea yet. SO I grabbed Youngjae to drive. As we drove to my badly burnt house I texted Yongguk to meet us there. Youngjae parked in front of the house and I jumped out yelling at him to wait for the others. I ran behind my house and into the forest area.

“Daehyun! Daehyun! Please be here… Daehyun!”I screamed pushing my legs to go faster. As the meadow came into view, so did a figure that was sitting in the middle. As I got closer, I saw a blanket that had a gun, a knife and what looked like a bottle of pills lying on top of it.

“Daehyun!” His hand stopped, hovering over the gun.

“So I am hallucinating again… ok, I’ll play along. Might as well.” He sighed standing up and turning towards me. His eyes were red and puffy with deep purple bags underneath showing nothing, but despair in them. I could tell he had gotten skinnier and he looked so weak.

“Hallucination? No Dae, I am real. I came back for you, because I’m hurting. I can’t eat, sleep, or barely breathe without you. I came to save you again, please don’t kill yourself. Please forgive me and let me come back to you.” He slowly nodded and walked towards me. I wrapped my arms around him in a tight embrace inhaling that sweet scent of his that I missed so much.