{Calum}.
I knew what I was doing, and I knew it would hurt her; but still, that didn't make me stop. I'd like to blame it on the medicine, or even the complete frustration that came along with everything I did, slowly driving me insane; but I knew better than to treat her that way. We all have little sparks of crazy in us, but the important thing is to not let them win.
It was so hard to control all the anger trapped inside of me, yet it was so easy to let it it all onto those closest to me. It was like I couldn't stop myself from pushing away the ones that I really needed, and I hated myself for it. I swear I did.
But she was always right there - the right place at the wrong time. It didn't help that I could barely think straight, either. All I'm getting at is that she made it so easy for me to use her and I couldn't help but take that to my advantage, releasing all my pain onto her being the only way I knew how.
Yet I was incapable of stopping myself and day by day I felt the distance between us continue to grow. After all this time, was I the only losing her?
-
{Delilah}.
For the second time that day, I watched as one of my best friends walked away from me, but something felt different time: I didn't know if I was going to get him back.
I did the only thing I could think of, hopping in my car and planning on driving as far away as I could get. I didn't want to make the same mistake as I did the last time I felt like this. I knew how much that guitar meant to Calum, but that didn't stop me from smashing it against the floor as heartache tore through me.
I don't even know what I was thinking that night. All I know was that the world came crashing down onto me and left me so broken that I couldn't even stand, collapsing onto the floor as I cried for hours on end.
I remember waking up with a pounding headache as the shun was shinning through the windows. A tall figure stood before me and at first I believed it was Calum, but it was only Luke instead. No one had ever seen me like this before, so lost and hopeless. Luke could see the empty bottle and the broken pieces of Calum's guitar scattered about the room, but he kept his mouth closed after seeing the emptiness my eyes held. He didn't need to say anything, he just stood in silence as he helped me clean up the mess I made.
After around an hour of driving, the tears had dried on my cheeks and my eyes were still red from exhaustion, but I was finally quiet. Without even realising, I had driven myself to the same park I had been at only a few hour ago. It was dark now and the roads were clear, but the park was still the same: it was still silent.
It wasn't safe to stand outside alone at this time of night, especially in an unfamiliar town, and I knew that if Calum was thinking straight, he would be pissed off with me for even wanting wanting to. But he wasn't and I clearly wasn't of concern to him anymore, so I made up my mind and remained standing near the dark alley ways. A dimly lit fluorescent light flashed the word "Bar Open" from across the street and I slowly found feet carrying me towards it. Hesitantly, I pushed on the door, being met with a a small, peaceful room with only a few people left sitting inside.
Keeping to myself, I made my way over to the counter and ordered myself a drink. An old man sat beside me, his eyes studying my features for a moment. Perhaps it was the way my bloodshot eyes blinked away tears, or maybe it was the fact that I was already ordering my second drink after only being here for a matter of minutes. Either one, he looked at me, paused as if to think of the right words, and said to me: 'Don't lose yourself while you try to kill your sadness.' Something about the way his voice shook and how his eyes focused deep on mine told me that he already had.
-
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FanfictionSEQUEL- Wasn't Calum waking up supposed to fix it all?