1.8

2.5K 126 112

by Hakuna

by Hakuna

{Luke}.

After Delilah ventured out of Calum's room, heading towards the cafeteria, I made my jump - moving in to sit by Calum. He wiped the sleep out of his eyes and sat himself up, smiling tiredly at me as I looked up at him.

"Morning Cal," I spoke, my voice warm and cheered.

'Mornin'." He mumbled out, his speech now clear, moving his hand through his greasy hair.

"Is Delilah ok?" I asked him, wondering if she opened up to him about all her troubles. He bit down on his lip, thinking hard as he tapped his index finger on his thumb - a nervous habit of his I had become aware of. "I saw that she was sitting here with you last night and I saw you talking, so I just wondered if she told you a bit about what's been going on with her."

"I think..." He began, uncertain to continue as if he was sure it couldn't be true. "I think she's depressed, Luke."

I dropped my head at his words, fiddling with my hands, unsure what to say. Of course she was depressed, everyone could see it, but I think everyone just refused to mention it. Talking about it would mean that it was real, and no one wanted it to be.

"I know."

Any look of hope that remained in his eyes vanished with my words, blinking fast as he tried to stop his eyes from watering

"But she'll be ok, she'll get through this. She just needs you, Cal."

He looked up at me once again, his saddened eyes meeting mine.

"I don't think she does. I think I'm the reason she's feeling like this. I think I'm the one who's destroying her."

{Delilah}.

I parked my car after pulling the keys out and just sat staring at the building in front of me for a few minutes. I didn't want to go in; that would mean accepting the fact that there actually was something wrong with me and I knew I didn't have a heart strong enough to take much more.

I wanted Calum back; the one I had before any of this even happened. He'd be able to help me, but he can barely even help himself right now, let alone someone else. It was just under a week until Calum was released from the hospital, but I was starting to have worries about him coming home now, too. For the most part, it would be just me and him; and the days would go by slowly enough for him to realise that he doesn't love me anymore. The thought of sleeping next to him and feeling the distance grow between us a little more each night terrified me more than anything. I needed things to change, but I was too scared to take those steps to make them happen. I was also too scared to step out of my car, causing me to drive away from the mental health clinic, and ending up the same bar I kept founding myself at.

It usually didn't take much for me to become drunk, but the more and more I came here, the more drinks I was able to consume before feeling the artificial happiness flood through my veins, completely taking over my self-control. Though sober or not, there was no way to escape my mind, no way to erase Calum from my thoughts. Every time I sat at the bar, I remembered the old man from my first time coming here, his words always seeming to replay in my mind as if I knew this wasn't the right thing to do. But I just couldn't stop myself. I longed for those few hours of numbness, a time for me to catch my breath and to not have to really think about anything. Drinking myself out of heartache was the only way I managed to survive.

But there was always one problem, and that was how do I get home? I probably should start thinking before I act, but that had never been my strong point in life. I was left with only one choice unless of course I wanted to spend another night sleeping in my car, but I didn't need to. While essentially I was homeless, I did have a house to go to and I did have a seat beside Calum's bed that was always vacant for me. I just wish I actually had Calum; my real home.

I finally swallowed my pride and called Luke, hearing the disappointment in his voice as he heard how drunk I was. For a moment there, I wasn't sure if he was willing to help me, but he did, arriving at the pub within 20 minutes. I expected him to be angry, but it was something much worse.

Ayyye.

I'm really close to 4000 followers on this and IG, so thank you everyone that has followed me.

I've done a drawing of Hey Violet and posted it on IG @ nicolecallandart so if you could tag them in it, it would mean a lot.

70 COMMENTS FOR AN UPDATE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!