Join triplets descendants of a mighty Hellhound in wacky adventures in hell...
Two are helping the princess of Hell with her new passion project while the other "works" with his hellhound girlfriend at a company called I.M.P
And things do happen!
[The short opens on a VHS recording of a blue screen with PLAY and a timer, before cutting to the I.M.P Headquarters.]
Narrator: Hello, and congratulations on your exciting new career as a contract killer for I.M.P, the Immediate Murder Professionals!
[Cut to the main office of I.M.P, where Blitzo hangs up a sign next to his portrait.]
Narrator: Founded by sexual dynamo Blitzo Buckzo, I.M.P is the number one imp-run business in the Pride Ring, probably.
[The camera pans out to reveal a fake "TOP BIZNESS AWARD" sign, which falls off to reveal a certificate to Blitzo for purchasing every single one of their horse plates. ]
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Blitzo puts up an employee of the month picture of Loona, whose face is covered with a piece of paper reading "YOU!" There's another employee of the month picture of Hound with the words "BANNED" written on it. ]
[Cut to Blitzo in his office.]
Blitzo:(to the viewers) Hi, girl! (realizes) Shit. OK, just keep rolling. Yarr, me heartie. (realizes) That's in fucking pirate! OK. (clears throat) Howdy, new guy— new girl— them. I am Blitzo, with the silent "O". (Millie puts up an upside-down sign reading "BLITZØ <- SILENT UR NEW BOSS) And I'm going to be your new boss now, 'kay?
Moxxie: Uh, sir? They would have met you at the interview.
Blitzo:(throws lamp at Moxxie) Moxxie, just shut your fat fucking little— Fuck it, just keep rolling. Loona will cut it down later.
[Cut to an I.M.P meeting where Blitzo is speaking to the interns from "Mastermind", showing brand synergy, before handing them copies of an employee survey.]
Narrator: At I.M.P, we lead the way in progressive workplace practices. Before your training begins, please make sure to fill out your required voluntary employee surveys so that we can make sure you feel seen and heard.
Blitzo: OK, I'm gonna need your gender, species, and sexual preferences cuz I want to make sure my workplace slurs land.
Narrator: Phew. Now with that bullshit out of the way, let's get to the good stuff: Training to be an assassin!
[Enter Blitzo with an obvious greenscreen outline.]
Blitzo: Listen up, chucklefucks, it's time to teach you my foolproof method to becoming the perfect contract killer. All you have to remember is ASSASSIN! We're gonna be doing those word things where the word stands for other shit, and all good businesses do it, and it's not fucking stupid, it's smart, OK, Moxxie?! It is professional, and we are doing it, so do not ask me not to—!
Hound: (Offscreen) Just explain the fucking word!
[Cut to Blitzo calmly explaining what the acronym means.]
