Mission Zero

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[The scene opens with a shot of the night sky on Earth, and a very prominent moon. Gunshots, and a man yelling, can be heard. There are several criminals on the street.]

Overweight criminal: We're up to no good. Yeah. This is what we do.

Toothy criminal: We are no good for society.

Overweight criminal: We're shady. People don't like us. For a reason, though.

[The overweight criminal flicks a cigarette, then gives a crackhead a bag of cocaine.]

Toothy criminal: I'm stealing candy from babies.

Overweight criminal: Yeah.

[The crackhead doesn't like what the overweight criminal gave him, and snaps his fingers to summon a bald criminal with a knife. The overweight criminal takes the knife with ease, and threatens the crackhead.]

Overweight criminal: You think I'm scared of you? I hate Christmas, okay? Tells you everything you need to know.

Toothy criminal: I'm stealing babies.

[As the criminals are having their way, we see the silhouettes of three imps on top of a tall building.]

Blitzo: All right, so we all know how things go right? on Earth do some pretty fucked-up shit, and then they die and they end up in Hell. And all Sinners have an idea of what Imps are, right? We're little red guys with pitchforks, torturing their souls for all eternity. Well... (chuckles) that's fucking outdated.

[The scene changes from graffiti on Earth to a whiteboard with Blitzo's observations, and a graphical representation of what he's talking about, then later, back to Earth.]

Blitzo: Most of us are baristas and boring shit, and since we're born here, we kind of get to serve whoever the fuck lands in our backyard. But some of us aim to be a little something more. A little something bigger, something cooler, something...

[Blitzo and Millie jump buildings and easily clear a metal fence, while whiffs it and barely clings on to the fence, then climbs back up.]

Blitzo: Yeah, cooler. So instead of selling 'em coffee, we're gonna sell 'em... REVENGE!

Overweight criminal: What the fuck is this? Who are you?

Blitzo: The name's Blitzo, the "O" is silent, and I'll be your assassin today! (gunshot, followed by a grunt)

Blitzo: The name's Blitzo, the "O" is silent, and I'll be your assassin today! (gunshot, followed by a grunt)

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[Cuts to the scene of I.M.P Headquarters, where Moxxie and Millie are sitting next to each other. The gunshot transitioned to Blitzo throwing a plate of spaghetti bolognese at his two employees, covering the both of them in spaghetti sauce. Millie is smiling while Moxxie is disgusted. Hound is sitting in front of them playing a videogame.]

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