I'm Having Her Baby (lesbian story)

Chapter 22

“Ok Cat, I’ll call” I said. 

“You promise” Cat said. 

“I promise” I said. Then Cat pulled me into a big tight bear hug. 

“You take care of yourself Lydia, and you be sure to call me if you ever need anything” Cat said hugging me tight. 

“Ok. Good bye Cat” I said. 

“Good bye Lydia” Cat said. Then I got up, and I walked away. I didn’t run, I didn’t look back. I simply walked away. Once I was out the hospital, and in the night air. I cried, I sat down on a bench, and I cried. I cried and I cried. I cried for everyone and everything. I cried because here I was pregnant and alone. My parents have disowned  me. My lover left me, and I just released my very last hope unto her husband. I was gonna be a single mother, and I was scared. So I cried, I cried, and I cried, and I cried. I thought I was strong. At least that’s what everyone told me. They told me I was strong. Or Lydia, I’m not as strong as you. But they don’t know the truth. They don’t that my bravery is just me hiding my fears under my tough exterior. They don’t know that I’m crying like a baby right now. They don’t know that I’m shaking scared right now. They don’t know that I just want to run away into the night, and disappear forever. Because it’s a lot of stuff, I can bear, but I can not bear being alone. I thought I could, but I can’t. I was alone before Paige, before Cat, before anybody. I was alone, and I was ok. Then I went off and opened up my heart, and now I’m scared. Because once you get use to having someone by your side, it is empty when they aren’t there. I’m not saying I want Paige or Cat back. I’m just saying, I don’t want to be alone. I don’t want to do this by myself. I don’t want to cry anymore, and I don’t want to be afraid anymore. I don’t want to be hurt by anybody else. Because I can’t take another heartbreak. I can’t fight anymore, because I have no fight left in me. I have given my all to everyone, and I can’t anymore, because I got nothing left. So forgive me if I seem weak right now. Forgive me for showing my true emotions, forgive me for being so weak. But I can’t, I can’t do this anymore. I can’t fight anymore. I can’t be hurt anymore. Most of all I can’t take being alone anymore. After crying for almost a hour straight, I caught the bus home.  I quietly went to my bedroom, and in my bathroom. I took off my blood stained clothes, and cut on the shower. I let the water run hot, and I stepped in. I let the water run. Before I could even blink tears started running. I sat down in the shower, and cried some more. I was so tired of crying, I could barely breath. As the water banged against my body, I cried. I can’t live like this. Soaking in my own pathetic pool of sorrow. Crying at the drop of a dime. Waiting to exhale, I just couldn’t. I couldn’t lay in my own pity. I washed up, got out the shower, and dried off. I put an oversized shirt, and just laid in my bed. Not crying, not thinking, just laying.   The next morning, I was awaken bright and early, by the one and only Jenny. 

“Oh Snuggle Bunny, are you alright? Cat called early this morning, and asked if you were alright. She told me about the incident with Seymour. Oh you poor baby, you’re probably traumatized beyond measures! Come here, let it out, Jenny is here for you” Jenny said laying beside me. She pulled me in her arms and held on tight. 

“Jenny, it’s too early for all emotional support. I’m fine” I said. 

“No you’re just in denial. And that’s ok, that is ok. You be in denial, and I’m right here. If you wanna cry, you wanna scream, scream. But I’m right here” Jenny said. 

Why the hell was this chick so damn clingy? I couldn’t even breathe too hard without Jenny trying to smother me in love. Gosh! Now I appreciate the love, and all the support but damn could I breathe by myself for once. 

“Jenny really, I’m fine, get off of me. I’m fine” I said. 

“Ok then so tell me what happened? Did Seymour hurt you?” Jenny said.