A/N: The song Tom is listening is called White Black Page from Mumford & Sons.
~The Forgiving.~
TOM’S POV.
The next morning I woke up on my couch. I looked around the mess I had created from my anger last night. I must have broken all the dishes and the glasses in my apartment. Last night I was angry, I was devastated and felt betrayed. Why Alice didn’t tell me the truth from the beginning? Why did she hide such an important part of her life from me? Why I was so bloody in love with her?!
I got up and carefully, to not step on any broken glass I walked to the bathroom. I washed my face with cold water and left to look at myself in the mirror.
“Should I call her?” I asked my mirrored self. “Should I go back and apologize to her from my behaviour?” My self on the mirror didn’t gave me any answers. “Should I keep loving her? SHOULD I?!” I shouted and turned my back to the mirror.
In my bedroom the bed was still a mess from when Alice and I had slept together. I laid down to my side of the bed and closed my eyes. The smell of chocolate and marmalade surrounded my nose. Alice was always smelling like this, even after her bath her smell was always like vanilla, or orange, or strawberry…
“I love you…”
I heard Alice’s voice suddenly whispering close to my right ear and made me feel like she had just entered my bedroom, lay on the bed next to me and said that. Scared my eyes opened right away and I didn’t move. What was happening to me?
When my body started obeying me again I found the strength and got up. I sat on the edge of my bed and looked the view from my bedroom’s window.
“I really love you don’t you ever forget that…”
Her voice whispered close to my ear once more and without losing any time I turned and looked behind me.
“What do you want me do?!” I yelled like a fool in the empty room. From my anger I threw down everything that was on my night stand. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!” I shouted furious and covered my eyes with my palms.
I didn’t hear her voice again.
“WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO?!” I shouted to myself again and got up. “Please… tell me…” I asked the four walls of my bedroom like a psychopath.
I needed a distraction, so when I came into the living room I opened my stereo and let the radio playing. So many songs passed when I heard the sound of guitar playing and a man’s voice singing:
“Can you lie next to her
And give her your heart, your heart
As well as your body
And can you lie next to her
And confess your love, your love
As well as your folly
And can you kneel before the king
And say I'm clean, I'm clean…
But tell me now, where was my fault
In loving you with my whole heart…
Oh, tell me now, where was my fault
In loving you with my whole heart!”
Without any thinking I got off the couch, wore my running shoes and walked out of the apartment. I can lie next to her and I give her my heart and confess my love to her as well as how fool I am about her…
I got in the Jeep and said to Robert to drive me to Alice’s apartment.
“Do you know what time it is my good man?” I asked him.
“It’s 10:30 sir.” Robert answered right away.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Of course Mr. Hiddleston if only I can answer it.”
“What do you think of Alice?”
“Mr. Hiddleston I can’t talk about these things…”
“But I asked you. Please tell me.”
How desperate was I?
“Miss Alice is a very good person always with a smile on her face.”
I looked at him.
“I don’t know what do you want me to say Mr. Hiddleston…”
“Tell me why am I so in love with her! Tell me why I can’t feel anything without her?! Tell me… tell me why I run back to her…?”
“Love Mr. Hiddleston, true love is a very mysterious thing.”
“Am I doing the right thing?”
Robert didn’t answer.
“Am I on the right path?” I asked him with mind fucked up.
“If you think that what you are doing is right Mr. Hiddleston then who am I to tell you something different?”
I sat back and looked at him.
“I’m such a fool…” I murmured to myself and looked out of the window.
But whatever I was saying I wasn’t going to stop the car and turn back. I loved Alice and I still love her. I want to be by her side and… this fight we had… it was nothing compared to how many feelings I have for her. I was going to accept Henry’s father and try to become friends with him. I was going to forgive and forget. It was a simply fight that was all. We were stronger than this. We could handle it.
We got to Lina’s apartment not much later. I hit off the car and run to the door, someone was just walking out of the building and I told him to hold the door. I run to the elevator but it took too much time to come, so I run up the stairs. Out of breath and with all those feelings that had rekindled inside me for her I pushed the doorbell of their apartment.
From inside I heard noises and Lina opened, after a while, the door. She looked at me surprised, like she wasn’t expecting I would show up.
“Where is Alice?” I asked her and walked into the apartment.
Lina tried to speak out but I run into the hallway without even care what she was trying to tell me.
“Alice?” I said and knocked her bedroom’s door.
No answer.
“Alice I’m coming in.” I said again and opened the door to find myself against an empty room. Her empty room.
“Alice…?” I exhaled and walked further inside her bedroom.
Nothing of her.
She had gone.
“Oh, no…” I said with broken voice and looked down.
I had lost my chance. I had lost Alice. She had gone.
“But tell me now, where was my fault?
In loving you with my whole heart…
Oh, tell me now, where was my fault?
In loving you with my whole heart…
A white blank page and a swelling rage, rage
You did not think when you sent me to the brink, to the brink…”
The song was echoing loudly in my mind.
Reminding me that I had lost everything.
THE END.
