Don't leave me

Chapter 31: Is this goodbye? Part 2

Hiccup's POV

I opened my eyes slowly as I was in the middle of coughing my lungs up from all the smoke that surrounded me. I blinked before focusing my gaze onto the figure laying on the ground, and that's when it clicked inside my head.

"Astrid!" I scrambled over to her, making sure to cough into my arm as I scooted closer to her frighteningly still body.

The smoke eventually cleared and I was able to get a better look at her without having to turn away to cough every two seconds. Her skin had blisters covering every bare spot, her clothes had been burned off and into her back, leaving her with only a few singed scraps left to cover herself and surprisingly enough, her hair remained mysteriously intact, only having lost its usual shine and a bit of the tips.

I carefully pulled her onto my lap, making sure to cover her from the prying eyes of the people that had gathered around us. I let my hand caress her cheek, which was a bright red dotted with yellow blisters in all shapes and sizes.

"Astrid?" I brushed the hair out of her face. "Astrid, wake up"

But there was no response. Her eyes were shut and I cold feel her growing cold, even through the immense heat that radiated from her burnt and charred skin. I shook her gently, desperately trying to wake her, but to no avail.

"Astrid, please wake up" I whispered softly, my fingers gently caressing her face as I prayed for a response. "Please"

The sound of stifled sobs and low mumbling emerged from behind me, but I couldn't focus on them, all that mattered to me was her. My eyes began to sting as my throat was closing in on itself, this couldn't be happening, not to her, not to my Astrid.

I felt a gentle hand land on my shoulder. I glanced to my side and found my mother sitting crouched down beside me, her eyes set on the scorched girl in my arms. She looked up from Astrid and set her eyes on me. "I'm so sorry, son"

"This is all my fault" I whispered so low my mother was probably struggling to hear what I was saying. I took a deep breath, but suddenly found it increasingly hard to breathe properly before a tear rolled down my cheek and landed on Astrid's red and blistered skin.

I felt my gaze being pulled to the side, where the body of the enormous Razor Claw laid in its personal crater. That vile dragon had used the last of its strength to kill the person I loved the most, and my sadness was quickly replaced with pure hatred and rage as I was on the verge of marching over to the dragon and slicing it up like a ham, but a hand on my shoulder stopped me.

"None of this is your fault, Hiccup. You and I both know that Astrid did what she deemed to be correct in that situation, which was saving you from a painful death" Amy mother shot my a sympathetic smile, which truthfully only made me feel worse.

"She was in so much pain" I let out a sob as my mind truly took in what an enormous sacrifice she had made for me. I couldn't stop the tears from streaming down my cheeks.

My mother wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into a hug. "She did it for you Hiccup, she did it to keep you safe, just like you would've done for her"

I buried my face in the crook of my mother's neck, letting out all the pent up emotions that had been brewing for the past weeks. First I couldn't save her from falling off her dragon, then I couldn't save her from dying? My heart constricted painfully as I tore my gaze away from the woman I loved with my entire being.

The sound of feet tapping rapidly on the ground grew closer and closer until Gothi and Gobber came running up to us, ready to check on Astrid. Gothi knelt down and carefully let her fingers hover above a few of the bigger blisters and darkened spots on Astrid body. She carefully placed two fingers on the side of her throat and pressed her ear to Astrid's chest before shaking her head slowly.

My heart stopped beating.

My mother's mouth was moving, but nothing was coming out. I turned around and looked at several other people and quickly realized that I couldn't hear any of them either. My head started spinning and I instinctively gripped onto my mother's arm as tight as I could to keep myself steady.

I was instantly snapped back to reality when a palm met my cheek. My hand instinctively flew up to my cheek before I came eye to eye with the person who had slapped me.

"Listen here, boyo, I know how hard this is for you, but—" Gobber began, but I shook my head vigorously in response, refusing to listen to another word that came out of his mouth.

"No. No! She's alright, okay? She's not dead, Astrid Hofferson is not dead! I know you can get her to wake up again, so come on, as your Chief I command it!" I shot up to my feet, preparing myself to carry Astrid all the way to Gothi's hut.

"Hiccup ..." My mother and Gobber reached out for me at the same time, but I brushed them off.

My eyes wandered across the sad faces of my people until they landed upon my friends, who were actively wiping away tears, which made the whole scenario feel ten times more real than it had before. My legs were getting shaky as I feared they would give out any minute.

Suddenly, my arm was draped around the shoulders of my mother, who was helping me stand up straight as Gobber and Gothi communicated with each other.

Their conversation ended with a firm nod from Gobber, who waddled over to Astrid and picked her gently up before following Gothi towards her hut.

"Are you alright, Hiccup?" My mother asked me, brows knit tightly together.

I shook my head slowly from side to side, my head feeling slightly empty and very light as I was unable to tear my gaze away from the trio headed to Gothi's hut. "No, I really don't think I am"