Holding Hands;lrh

Seven*

That picture though ^^

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I looked at myself in the long full length floor mirror. The black skinny jeans and my worn out green day shirt from when BOBD actually came out. There were cracks in the plastic that has the words Green Day, and all over the drawn legs, the converse, and everywhere. The grey charcoal coloured shirt, that once was black, was now about 9 years old.

I was in the process of getting ready for Mikes party. It was Saturday and I was making sure I looked presentable in case I needed to go downstairs for a drink or something to eat. I was planning on just staying in my room the entire night and not coming out. That's how I managed to avoid everyone.

I knew Luke was going to be here, and after this week in school I didn't know if he wanted to be seen me. He probably thinks I'm pathetic after what went down in the hallway with Ashton. I really did deserve what happened.

"Your worthless," I said to myself feeling my heart crush and a pang in my chest. "Your just a big fat joke."

I suddenly had this huge urge to do what I would normally do when I felt this sudden crushing sadness. This time the urge was way to huge to ignore. I tried to suppress the urge, but it came back stronger and I could defiantly not ignore it now. I went to my bathroom, and I couldn't help but get out the all too familiar box. I took out the familiar pieces of metal, and the cold instantly hit my wrist. All I could see was the little drips of blood running down my arm. I was so used to doing this that I didn't feel the pain anymore.

I quickly snapped back into reality, and realized how this just effected me. I grabbed a towel and instantly wrapped it around my wrists. Trying to stop the bleeding. That whole 5 months that I spent clean was just gone to waist.

I finally noticed the tears escaping my eyes, and that's when I heard my door open. I quickly shut the bathroom door and locked it.

I quickly put everything away, and I heard a knock on the door.

"Uh I'll be out in a minute," I said nervously. I looked around for something to cover it up with. I found my grey Blink-182 sweatshirt. It was probably not going to help, but at least it was something. I put it on and opened the door. I came face to face with Luke.

"I guess you weren't planning on attending the party?" He asked.

"Not really I just planned on staying up here and watching movies and cuddling a pillow," I said pathetically.

"Awe can I be the pillow?" He asked giving me the puppy dog face. His lip stick out and batting his eyelashes. It made me laugh, but I was confused. I thought for sure he wouldn't want to talk to me.

"Yea I guess," I said starting to feel insecure.

"I really like your sweatshirt by the way," he said. "I really like Blink and I-"

He stopped himself before saying anything else. I figured it was nothing so I just shook it off. Luke suddenly grabbed my hand and it shot a pain up my arm. It stretched out the cuts on my wrist making them sting.

"Are you okay did I do something," he said. "Oh my god Elle your bleeding."

That was it.

"No I'm not I'm fine," I said realizing what had happened. My cuts reopened. They started bleeding again.

He grabbed my hand and pulled the sleeves up. His face showed nothing but disgust. I started spacing out.

"He probably thinks your just seeking attention, cause that's what you are really are doing right?" I said in my head.

"Elle why?" He asked.

"Cause," I mumbled. I'm worthless, a joke, annoying. I mean come on the list goes on and on.

"just cause?" he shouted. causing me to flinch and my heart race as I started to feel scared. He gripped my wrist harder causing me to wince in pain. "You don't just do this because."

"Luke stop," I said.

"Oh my god," he said letting go. "I'm so sorry."

He pulled me into his chest and hugged me tightly. I just let myself go, and I cried into his chest. I felt his shirt getting soaked as I continued to cry. I started to calm down.

"You're so vale able Elle," Luke said. "Your worth so much, and quite frankly, I don't know what'd I'd do without you in school."

"Thanks Luke," I said.

"Not a problem," he said. "I mean it's not worth my time to lie anyway."

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Does anyone know where I can buy my own Luke? Like seriously I want one.

Anyway the question of the day is how are you?

I've been sad lately but I came home and saw that this book almost hit 100 reads and it made me about the happiest person ever.

Anyway thanks for reading it means a lot.. I love you..
-dauntlessluke <3 :-)

P.s. I wrote that before we hit 100 reads and I'm writing this currently as I see 107 reads and I want to say thank you to everyone who has decided to read this because it honestly means a lot. I want this book to be everyone's so I want everyone who reads this to leave ideas of what should happen... I know many people might not do this, but I want to make this everyone's story and not just mine...

P.P.S. edited: 4.10.16