Holding Hands;lrh

Thirty-Four

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I guess I just wasn't used to someone actually caring about me. It was the point in time where I would get more depressed than normal because of my head. My thoughts would never shut up, and they made me think that no one actually cared. I went my whole life feeling like no one actually cared, and I went day by day just waking up and living a life that wasn't really living at all. It was just being in a shell all day. It was when I opened my eyes, and saw how much of a mess Luke was did I actually feel like someone cared. He looked pale in the face with bags under his eyes, and he looked like he hadn't slept much. He literally looked about ready to fall apart, and I guess I couldn't blame him.

I was still completely exhausted from the medicine the hospital had me on, and I couldn't help but fall asleep again. All I was doing was sleeping now, and it felt good to just sleep and not have to worry about the world for once.

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"Shhh she's sleeping," I heard a voice whisper. It sounded like Luke.

"You need to get food," I heard another person whisper. It sounded like Michael.

"I don't care about food at the moment," Luke replied. "All I care about is her."

"I'll bring you food," 

"Whatever" 

I was trying had not to blink my eyes while they were shut,  but I couldn't help. I blinked them and I felt a hand on mine.

"I know you're awake," Luke sighed.

"mhmm," I hummed. "When was the last time you ate Luke?"

"I can't remember," 

"Eat now or I'm not going to talk to you for a week," I ordered.

"Fine Michael said he was bringing me food,  but I'm sure you heard that,"

"Yea I did and why are you still so harsh to him he didn't mean what he said. He was stressed and did you even do that gig?"

"Why am I still so harsh? I'm still harsh because he made you go and attempt to take you're own life Elle!" He said raising his voice. 

"Yea but he obviously regrets it," I said. Every time I would wake up it was always Luke and Michael in my room, and Michael always said sorry. It was the first thing to leave his mouth , and he acted like I had amnesia  and I couldn't remember that he didn't mean it. I mean his eyes were just filled with guilt.

"Yea I still don't care about whether he feels bad about it or not. He said it, and theres no taking it back," He said his voice still raised. 

"Yea it was said but I don't want to come in between what you and Michael," 

"You almost died Elle!" He yelled, and choked back a sob. His voice cracking a bit. "God Elle why do you have to be so fucking blonde sometimes."

I felt a pang in my chest as the words left his mouth. I felt hurt by his words, and what hurt the most was that he implied that I was dumb. My eyes widened as well, and  raised my eyebrows. 

"Oh really I'm the blonde one?"

"I'm sorry Elle I didn't mean that," He immeadialty said, but it was too late.

"Yea but you thought it. Great t know what you really think of me Luke" I spat at him. "If that's what you really think than maybe you should just leave."

"Elle," he sighed.

"I'm serious Luke you need to leave I can't handle this right now," I said. pointing towards the door.

"I'm sorry," he said and I could hear his voice crack. He left the door his back to me and his hand underneath his eye. I felt bad that he was crying, but I felt more hurt than sympathetic. 

It was a few moments of me just sitting in my hospital bed waiting for any one to come and accompany me. I didn't even have my phone so I literally had nothing to do but stare at the ceiling. Before a long time passed Michael came walking back into my room with a tray of food. He looked confused as he looked around seeing that Luke wasn't here.

"Where'd Luke go I finally got his food," Mike said.

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Okay so please don't hate me. I know this is bad, but it might turn out okay. 

Do you think they'll make it out alive? 

lmao good pun...

Wow i'm lame okat bye now...

- dauntlessluke

p.s. thank you so much for reading!!!!

p.p.s I love you so so so much and you look beautiful today.. Don't forget to smile today.